The men of Purdue respond to TFM’s ‘Perfect College Girlfriend’

Total Frat Move has an infamous article called 50 Ways To Be The Perfect College Girlfriend. The article ranges from mild requests such as “Don’t be an emotional drunk” to ridiculous statements like “Have an attractive mother. Trust me, it’s important.” And then some statements were just plain degrading: “Eventually we’re going to ask you for a threesome. Either accept or divert our attention with a blowjob. No tantrum necessary.”

Maybe this list is meant to be taken seriously. Maybe it’s just a huge joke. Either way, women are not seeing the humor. I decided I needed to get the other gender’s perspective and asked the men of Purdue what they thought of the list and what their perfect girlfriend would be.

Paul Laurora, freshman, Chemical Engineering

“I wonder what the girlfriend would say about this person.

“If you’re going to have that many restrictions on someone then I don’t think anyone is going to want to date you anyway.

“I think a relationship is more of something that both people want to do.

“My ideal relationship would be having someone that I work well together with and that we both trust each other. Also, actually telling each other when something is wrong and not hiding things from each other. I just got out of a relationship, but I think it was good because we were both each other’s best friend.”

Joshua Relton, sophomore, Electrical Engineering

“These are honestly kind of douch-ey statements. I wouldn’t expect that from a girl, especially reading about the evening and afternoon blowjobs.

“I don’t understand why someone would say, ‘have a fake ID.’

“My ideal girlfriend would be social and be able to hold a conversation. I like someone who is intelligent and is passionate about something.”

Mohammad Kobeissi, freshman, Engineering

“I agree with number 11 [don’t be clingy].

“Bake us something from scratch, yes.

“Don’t go through our phones — you better not.

“Definitely lie about how many people you’ve had sex with.”

Sarmed, freshman, Finance

“I agree with ‘don’t be clingy’ the most.

“Bake us something from scratch — that should go without saying.

“The most important quality in a girlfriend would be to be funny. She has to be smart and able to have a conversation. I feel like the main thing for me over face is hair. Hair gets me.”

Darius Elliott, senior, Computer Engineering, Alpha Phi Alpha

“Total Frat Move is probably not the first place I would go for information of what I want in a woman.

“You don’t have to enjoy whiskey, you don’t even have to drink, it’s cool.

“I don’t care if you’re able to shotgun a beer at a reasonable pace.

“Not being an emotional drunk would be kind of nice honestly.

“When I look for a woman, there’s respect that goes both ways. There are certain things that I want but she’s still her own entity, her own human being. I respect her, she respects me. I don’t require her to do anything because I could probably do it myself. Things should be mutual.

“A lot of those things were just disrespectful, I don’t agree with a lot of it.”

Jack Bandlow, sophomore, Civil Engineering, Delta Tau Delta

“I don’t know if I can keep up with some of the demands on this list. I mean, morning, afternoon and evening [blowjobs]?

“We read it with a bunch of people and we thought for the most part, aside from the ridiculous ones, that it was pretty accurate. Some of the things in there were pretty extreme.

“I thought number 6 was funny and accurate [There’s nothing less sexy than insecurity, except maybe love handles].

“My ideal girlfriend is definitely Jennifer Lawrence.”

Brian Rogers, sophomore, Civil Engineering, Alpha Tau Omega

“It was funny, I’m pretty sure it was a joke.

“My ideal girlfriend is probably everything [my girlfriend] Rachel is. She’s nice, pretty, she listens to me, we have a lot in common and she’s always there for me.”

Andrew Callas, freshman, Computer Information Technology, Theta Chi

“I think it shed some great light on the funny but sort of crazy views that guys have.

“There are a lot of funny things in it like 46-49 [the section about blowjobs].

“My ideal girlfriend is someone who cares about me and is also smart and educated.”

Thomas Rogers, sophomore, Civil Engineering

“I really like TFM, it talks about how college life is supposed to be and it’s pretty accurate about that.

“The list was really funny but it talked about the perfect college girlfriend and that would definitely be perfect for college. I say all of those things are definitely accurate but you’re not expected to have every single one of those. But each one extra that you have would be better.

“My ideal girlfriend would be like the list but also be religious and have the same morals as me.

“I feel like that’s what all guys in college want. The whole list was ideal.”

A.J. Lucky, sophomore, English Education

“I felt like it was very degrading and condescending.

“At first it seemed like they were looking for male companionship or something because they said, enjoy whiskey, be able to shotgun a beer at a reasonable pace, and don’t be an emotional drunk. Those are not things I would expect from my girlfriend.

“I actually do like clingy-ness because it shows that you care.

“It’s very misogynistic with the blowjobs. It’s as if the things women can provide for you sexually are the only thing that they’re good for. They’re not valuing women as a people or as an individuals.

“I look for more of a mental and emotional connection with a woman. There also has to be a physical connection but if I can connect with you on a mental and emotional level, you become more attractive. I want someone who cares about herself, is independent and ambitious.”

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For the most part, the men of Purdue have good heads on their shoulders. Whether they believe the list completely belittles women or that it’s not to be taken seriously, they understand that women are people too and that no woman could (or should) meet all of the demands on the list.