Here’s why Forbesians have more character than all of you put together

Sure, you have midterms and problem sets and finals. You’ve pulled all-nighters, and you have to juggle three clubs on top of the sport you play. Hell, you might even be an engineer. You know the Princeton struggle.

But you will never know the realest struggle of all struggles – the Forbes struggle.

You’re probably thinking to yourself, “No, I know what it’s like – one of my friends is Forbesian. I know how tough it is. I send her care packages. I even visited her once. I’m a good person. I’m a Forbes ally.”

But you won’t ever really understand. And besides, we don’t need your charity.

In fact, we’re doing pretty well on our own down here. The Forbes breed is a strong bunch.

Non-Forbesians might mock us and refuse to come to our parties, but we have the last laugh… and the best Sunday Brunch.

As newly-admitted Princetonians, our hearts dropped when we learned that we were going to be in Forbes for two years.

There was talk on the class Facebook page of Forbes belonging to a different zip code than the rest of campus (this is no longer true), and some students commented that the Forbes Annex was the single worse place to live at Princeton.

We would be late to all our classes, they said. We would have no social life at all.

But then we actually got here, and we fell in love: with stunning views of the golf course and the grad college, with the best pizza in any dining hall, with the 3D printer in the basement (no, really) and the hammocks on the patio.

We fell in love with the chocolate fountain and the brie at Sunday brunch, and we resented the hordes of intruders from other res colleges that show up in our dining hall on Sunday mornings. And we learned that Forbesians fuse into a one of the tightest-knit communities on campus.

Of course, it hasn’t always been easy.

All Forbes BSE students have searched Google maps for the distance between Forbes and the EQuad, and most have been appalled at the result (1.2 miles). Athletes are dismayed at the distance required to get to Jadwin Gym (1.2 miles).

Several Forbesians are BSE athletes, causing them to walk several miles daily.  Also, because there’s such a wide range of quality when it comes to rooms, the days before room draw are tenser in Forbes than anywhere else on campus. At least the Annex- and Addition- dwellers can take comfort in the knowledge that although they might have the cinderblock walls, the Main Inn has the bedbugs and the New Wing has the cockroaches.

But there are certainly more perks than pitfalls.

Forbesians never have to worry about kicking one-night stands out of their rooms in the morning (because good luck trying to convince your one-night stand to come back to Forbes).

At the beginning of winter break, Forbesians are cool and collected at the Dinky, while Matheyites show up in a hot mess after lugging their suitcases halfway across campus. And fewer pregames mean more sleep (right??).  Forbesians also tend to be in phenomenal shape, because when you have to walk more, you burn more calories.

Anne Merrill, Forbesian sophomore, sums up Forbes like this: “It may be a hotel, but it feels like home.” Here’s what some other  Forbesians had to say about the best damn res college in the best damn place of all.

What do you love about Forbes?

“There are four pianos.” – Christian, freshman

“Chocolate-covered marshmallows.” – Saumya, freshman

“The way the staff are basically my family here. I feel so loved at Forbes.” – Aryana, sophomore

We absolutely agree. Stanley and Steve always put a smile on our faces when they swipe us into the d-hall, Leslie knows everyone’s name, and John can remember all of the vegetarian Forbesians. Not to mention that he’s always coming up with awesome new recipes for us to try.

What makes Forbes unique?

“I have this low-key conspiracy theory that all Forbesians are complex, interesting people – basically, they put all the arty weirdos here.” – Anne, sophomore

Anne frequently requisitions various spaces in Forbes for her independent documentary/podcast side projects. She was also the one who stuck all those googly eyes all over the Addition last year.

“Forbes is a different life. The lobby is like my living room.” – Jonah, sophomore

Jonah is Forbes-famous, thanks to his continual efforts to recruit us all for the Forbes IM soccer and basketball teams.

“I live on a golf course.” – Tommy, sophomore

Word has it that a sophomore in the New Wing has a collection of almost twenty golf balls, picked up on random golf course walks. And golf ball theft is certainly not the least felonious activity that Forbesians have taken part in out there…

What do you respond when people say that Forbes is an inferior res college?

“It usually ends in a kick-fight. I’m in Tae Kwon Do.” – Grace, sophomore

“People who think Forbes isn’t worth the walk are punishing themselves already. They can stay where they are, to be honest.” – Angela, freshman

How do you feel, as a sophomore, about leaving Forbes next year?

“Incredibly sad, but I’m trying to move into Whitman, so I won’t be that far.” – Maya, sophomore

“Leaving Forbes will be one of the saddest moments of my life.” – Patrick, sophomore

Definitely sad. But at least we can take comfort in the fact that we’ll be back… in fifty years. Forbes is basically set up like an old people’s home, which is why they put the alums who graduated in the 1930s and 40s here during Reunions. We can’t wait till we’re driving around Forbes in golf carts because of our hip replacements, and grumbling because the single toaster in the Forbes d-hall still just toasts everything really inconsistently.