College kids are basically giant toddlers

I’m sure we’ve all heard the saying “toddlers are really just drunk adults in little bodies” and after working as a nanny and a teacher at my local Daycare, I 500% agree with that statement.

As I was laying in bed pondering that thought, it hit me- while we’re busy making fun of toddlers for that reason, we really should be making fun of ourselves.  You see, us college kids may think we’re adults…but we’re wrong.  We are really just babies trapped inside a 20 year old’s body, and here’s why.

We have our own language.

No, it’s not the ba-ba or goo-goos, but it is still just as confusing to adults older than us. “Lit,” “bae,” and “finna” are not in anyone else’s vocabulary except our generations. And my mom’s all time favorite- “We’re not dating, we’re just talking.” These words are a part of our everyday conversations and although we understand the meanings, our elders have no clue.  Have you ever tried explaining to an adult what “talking” is? ‘

Well, if you haven’t and want to confuse the hell out of them- give it a try.

Naps are essential.

Remember fighting with your parents when you were younger that you “weren’t tired,” and you “didn’t need a nap”? I wish I would have taken full advantage of those nap times when I had the chance, and college definitely gave me a greater appreciation for naps.  When planning out our days, we plan them around our naps because without them (and coffee, of course) how would we function? Oh, and we have trained ourselves to be able to sleep literally anywhere.

Crying becomes a common occurrence.

Half the time we don’t even know why we are crying- am I right? I remember crying at my desk one day as I was doing my homework at the end of a long week because my pencil tip broke.  MY PENCIL BROKE AND I SOBBED? It’s okay though because we are not alone.

It seems that most would agree that in college there is no shame in crying over the most microscopic incident or over nothing at all- no matter where you are.  I have witnessed crying all over campus, and the thing that makes it all okay and socially acceptable is that we’ve all done it and we all understand the struggle.

We complain when we’re hungry.

I am a naturally happy person but when my stomach starts to rumble, I get very cranky.  We get excited when the cafe offers us meals like chicken nuggets and tater tots- or my personal favorite, mac n cheese. Fruit snacks and granola bars are placed in our backpacks (instead of diaper bags) just in case we get a little hungry but don’t want to spoil our appetite.

Adults are always trying to make us learn.

First it was as simple as colors, number, and how to spell our name. Now, we are still being forced into the world of academia, just on a much larger scale than flashcards with your mom on your living room floor. The reading never stops either. Whether it’s for class or recreationally, we are always being told we should have our noses in a book.  But reading isn’t fun when you’re twenty- there’s no pictures.

We are extremely clumsy.

Yeah, usually booze is involved in falling down the stairs, but it is just one more thing that makes us giant toddlers. We literally can’t walk straight and have terrible balance. I have seen people eat shit multiple times every weekend of my college career, and I am no exception. My friend actually fell off of a cliff in a skirt, and it wasn’t pretty. At least toddlers have an excuse.

We’re broke.

Do I even have to go into detail on this one? Mom and Dad are the first ones we call when funds are low and so is the toilet paper supply. Kids don’t have money, but they need a lot of shit just like we do. It’s possible that we may even be broker than babies because of the absurd amount of student debt we have. They don’t have to worry about it yet- lucky bastards.

We only consume two liquids. 

No it’s not juice and milk like a toddler’s drink of choice, but instead we quench our thirst with water and alcohol (which is usually drank out of a bottle). We just like to keep things simple while also treating ourselves when we deserve it. I remember being rewarded with lemonade, and now it has just changed to chardonnay.

You see, we really are just babies- except without the diapers and a lot more hair.