Why concussions made me quit soccer

Playing a sport since you’re eight grows a passion inside of you. I would get excited about summer conditioning and practices even if all we did was run sprints. I was improving, my team was improving, and I loved it.

My senior year of soccer was in 2014. My best friend Lauren and I couldn’t believe how quickly it came around and having played together for almost a decade we weren’t ready for it to end.

In October, my high school had it’s annual Pink Out game for Breast Cancer Awareness at the football stadium under the lights. In the first half of the game a girl on the opposing team who could boot the damn ball, cleared it down the field, and I decided to stop it with my face. It was suppose to be my head, but I guess I jumped too high. I went down and everything went black. All I remember is sobbing and hearing the referee talking over of me. I got taken out of the game and had ice around my neck and head to cool off. Pumping with adrenaline I convinced the athletic trainer and my coach that I was fine and went back in the game.

I remember a close friend of mine who was in the stands saying to me after the game, “I honestly didn’t think you were going to get up. You got hit hard as f*ck.”

I threw up that night, felt foggy, and had a huge headache. It was evident I had a concussion, but that didn’t stop me. I only missed one game and the next week I played and went to head the ball and just knew I was done at that point. After my first doctor appointment I was out of school for two weeks. Usually people do nothing but sleep when they get a concussion. I was the opposite – I couldn’t sleep if my life depended on it, and my anxiety was through the roof. I had bad whiplash, barely ate, had extremely sensitive eyes/ears, and basically a constant headache. I can’t even list all of the mental and physical changes I experienced.

I began to lose track of the amount of doctor/neurologist visits and MRIs I had. Sad to say, but I basically have the whole concussion protocol memorized.

I was on a half-a-day schedule at school for nearly five months and it took close to a year to get completely cleared by my doctor. I still get regular MRI’s every six months to make sure everything upstairs is functioning properly.

If I could go back, I wouldn’t have been so stubborn. I would’ve sat out after the first rock to the face I took. I had a traumatic brain injury and continuing to play has been one of my biggest regrets. I always remind myself that it could’ve been worse.

I still get headaches – far worse than ever before. My anxiety has increased to the point where sometimes I just can’t get a grip on things, and I can tell I’m less social now than I was in high school – but I’ve adjusted.

I haven’t touched a soccer ball since October of 2014. I limit myself with activities because I don’t want to increase my chances of getting another concussion and having to feel that way again. It’s indescribable. I had to quit the sport I love and hold back on things ever since.

It’s like an unfulfilled part of your life that you can’t get back.