We spoke to a young mom about her experience raising a child

Being a mother is tough. Nine months of pregnancy, hours of labor, and then the monetary and emotional roller coaster of raising a human being. It can all be a little overwhelming, especially for the younger moms. Some young women are afraid to keep their baby because they are under the society-given impression that they will fail as mothers. Society teaches us that we need to be in a steady relationship with a solid career in order to properly raise children. Well I’m here to tell you that that is not the case in every situation.

I had a chance to sit down and speak with Hannah Reidy, 21, about her experience as a young mother. She stays at home with her daughter Hayden, 10 months, while her fiancé, Timothy, works. She stays home because she and Timothy agree that while her daughter is young, she should be under constant family surveillance. Timothy works long shifts and keeps food on the table for all three of them with his single paycheck.

I would like to thank Hannah for allowing me to interview her. She is really a great mother to Hayden and I respect her so much for her strength and optimism.

How did you become pregnant (were you dating someone)? What was your immediate reaction to finding out that you had become pregnant?

I was in a relationship for three years before becoming pregnant. To be completely honest, I was so scared but also excited because my fiancé and I had been talking about what the future looked like and what we wanted and we both wanted to have children together.

Did you and the father mutually decide to have the baby, and what arrangements were made?

Yes, we both decided that even though we were not trying to have kids right then that it was meant to be.

Did you struggle in labor?

The only “struggle” I had in labor was that after I got my epidural, Hayden didn’t like the contractions and every time I would have one her heart rate kept dropping and I would have to change positions in the bed every 30 minutes or so to relieve her distress. They had to stop my contractions so Hayden would settle down and get comfortable again. I was in labor for exactly 12 hours (weird) but if they didn’t stop my contractions, I would have been able to have her much faster.

What was your first thought when your baby was presented to you? People always ask, is love at first sight a real thing? Is it possible?

Well for me, it was… as soon as I saw my little girl, I started balling my eyes out. She was so tiny, so beautiful and such a blessing. She looked just like me. I never felt like I had a purpose in life until I saw her. This this was my purpose to be alive, to be this beautiful little girl’s mommy – and everything made sense.

What was the hardest part of the first month with your newborn?

The hardest part for me was the sleep – having to wake up every few hours for a feeding. It was so hard for me because I LOVE SLEEP, and for me to get only a few hours of sleep between waking up and checking on her, and then her feedings was very rough…. I didn’t get any sleep at all.

What was the best part of the first month with your newborn?

The best part for me was how dependent on me she was. She needed me for everything, and I loved it. I love taking care of her, I loved the cuddles for hours and hours, I loved the feeling of her skin on mine, I loved getting in the bathtub with her and sitting in there just looking at how blessed I was to have her in my life. Honestly, I loved everything other than not getting sleep, but that’s a sacrifice you need to make when you decide to have a child.

Who in your family was for/against your choice to have the baby?

Surprisingly, everyone in my family was extremely supportive of me having a child. they just constantly reminded me how many changes would be made after having her, and I thought I knew. I always said “I know” but oh boy, I had noooooooo idea exactly how true that was.

Who has been your biggest supporter throughout the process?

My fiancé and my mother were the biggest supporters throughout the ENTIRE process, always by my side.

Do you have any full-time help caring for your baby?

Nope. No babysitters, nothing. It’s just me 100 percent of the time. My fiancé works 12-15 hour shifts so he can barely help either, though he does keep food on the table.

What is your favorite part about being a young mother (as opposed to having a child when you are 26-30)?

You know, when I was younger I would always say “yeah, I would love to be a young mom.” I get to love my child longer as a young mom, and to me, I feel as though we will get to learn together. As she’s growing up, so am I. There are still a lot of things I need to learn, and I think it’s kind of cool that we can do that together.

What advice do you have for other young mothers?

You know, a lot of the younger moms I have talked to have all had similar stories about other people trying to give them advice because of being a young mother. Just because we are young, does not make us any less of mothers. Being a mother is all about instincts, knowing your child and finding what works. No one knows your child like you and no one has the right to tell you what decisions you can make when it comes to your child. YOU ARE IN CHARGE, YOU KNOW YOUR CHILD BETTER THAN ANYONE ELSE, AND IT WILL ALWAYS BE THAT WAY! Stay positive. It will get rough, I’d be lying if I said it didn’t, but my little girl’s smile makes everything better… makes everything make sense. You are strong. Being a mother is the hardest job out there, but you will make it through. Enjoy every single waking moment with your baby, because they grow up so fast and you’ll never be able to get those moment back.

If you could change anything about your experience so far, what would it be?

Nothing. My daughter is absolutely amazing in every way shape and form – she has taught me so much and still is. I believe everything happens for a reason and I wouldn’t trade her for anything or anyone in the world. She is my princess, and she will always be mommy’s little girl.

Can you describe her happiness level? Does she smile and laugh a lot? Do you think she is truly happy, despite your lack of an adult career and stable marriage?

My child is probably one of the happiest children I have ever met in my life. She is always happy unless she’s teething or is sick, and even then, she still has a smile on her face. Her favorite things to do right now is going outside for walks, baths, crawling, and playing. My little girl is definitely my child – she will only laugh when something is genuinely, extremely funny. If not she’ll just smile but not let out a single giggle. You have to catch her in a really good mood if you want a laugh from her, she’s strange like that. But when she does laugh, it is the cutest and funniest laugh ever, she snorts!