You can take me out of Jersey, but you can’t take the Jersey out of me

You know us for our beaches, our diners, our highly-ranked public education, and our petrochemical refineries. We have the highest property taxes in the nation, and we boast an astounding 108 toxic waste dumps. We have been called “the armpit of America” by many, but any native would be quick to say otherwise. Legend has it that Donald Trump got his first spray tan in a New Jersey salon – maybe we shouldn’t be proud of that.

When I was looking for colleges, I knew I wanted to stay as far east as possible. New York and Boston were ideal options, and Washington, D.C. was high on the list as well. Long story short, I ended up in Pittsburgh. As close to the Midwest as you can be without actually being in the Midwest.

Don’t get me wrong, Pittsburgh is a really great city. Everything is extremely accessible, the parks are beautiful, and living here is relatively cheap. But it isn’t Jersey. I haven’t been cursed out in months, and I can’t remember what a good French fry tastes like.

There is obviously a difference in cuisine between New Jersey and Pittsburgh, and it’s been an adjustment to say the least. Food in Pittsburgh is smaller and healthier, and I’m not really OK with that. Sure, the bagels have fewer carbs and the fries have less fat, but I’m not one of those people that sacrifices taste for health, and I know all of my Jersey comrades feel the same way. I haven’t had a bagel or a slice of pizza since coming to school. My expectations are too high, and I don’t want to be let down. When I’m in New Jersey, I know I can go to the diner at two o’clock in the morning (the waitresses know my order), but in Pittsburgh, my late-night options are McDonald’s and not eating. And the latter is not an option for me.

The people in Pittsburgh are very kind and welcoming, and coming from New Jersey, I’m not very used to that. Also, people in Pittsburgh walk slowly…

beaches in Jersey

The party scene is pretty different as well. Kids that went to my high school were basically pre-destined for alcoholism. They drank on the Fourth of July, they drank on St. Patrick’s Day, and they drank on snow days. It takes talent to be able to make every day into a drinking holiday, and people from Jersey are born with that talent. They’re the best pong players in the nation, and their tolerances are a force to be reckoned with. They learned how to do keg stands before handstands, and they can walk better after a few drinks.

After telling all of my Pittsburgh friends about Jersey parties, they quickly jumped to the conclusion that everyone from Jersey is an alcoholic. And maybe we are. Or maybe everyone else is just very sober. I think it’s debatable.

Now, although we may be gluttons and most of us do consume two times more alcohol than the average American, I promise there is some amount of depth in all of us. We are in love with our families, in love with our friends, in love with the beach – and the beach may be the thing that’s hardest to leave behind. There’s something so freeing about living a mile from the Atlantic Ocean. I used it as an escape whenever I was down. Hearing the waves crashing against the shore, feeling the breeze dance across my skin, looking out across the water – this is what I miss most about New Jersey.

Every day that I’m landlocked is another day without my one true love, but we’ll be together soon. In the meantime, I can say, with completely honesty, that Pittsburgh sure is a great place to live.