What do Penn Staters think of the new iPhone?

It’s back again – the newest Apple cult movement product: the iPhone 7. Returning now with some of the most self-centered and expensive upgrades around, the iPhone 7 is newly equipped to be water resistant with a jet black sleek finish, new camera, wireless earbuds and no audio jack (bye bye AUX cord). So how are people around campus actually reacting?

Matheus Schloesser, Sophomore

“I feel like they’re screwing up. Apple. It seems counterproductive like they’re going backwards. Next year they’ll be all like, ‘Wow we have invented a new revolutionary feature on the iPhone 8, it’s called the headphone jack!’”

Chris Thomas and Ryan Dincher, Freshmen

Chris: “Yeah seriously, Apple has been super lowkey and then they pull this stunt. I used to like them. Now they suck big Harambe dick in all honesty.”

Ryan (laughing): “Yeah, I think they’ll eventually perfect the design, but for now I’m definitely with Chris. That being said, I’ll probably switch to Android when my iPhone 5 kills itself.”

Lauren Gerlin and Lauren Stevens, Freshmen

Lauren G: “The water resistance is dope, but I’ll definitely want to charge and listen to music at some point, so that’s a dilemma. The slick black actually sounds really cool though.”

Lauren S: “I think it’s a modern step in the right direction, and I know it will have longer battery life which is always good. Plus, better camera equals better nudes.”

Long Lai and Tuan Nguyen, Freshmen

Long: “I like the color, but I’m going to lose my earphones all the fucking time.”

Tuan: “…”

Taylor Schendorf, Junior 

“I feel like this new phone is more of a power trip for Apple. It’s Apple demonstrating to everyone that they’ll continue to conform whether or not it’s even innovative. It shows how hardcore the Apple fan base is. But yeah, I’m a sucker – I’ll still buy it.”

The iPhone 7 is officially available at commercial retailers and online starting today.

You made your move, Apple. We’ll see how well it pays off.