My father passed away during high school

Losing a parent is never easy at any age. But losing a parent when you are going through some of the biggest changes in your life can cause some major curveballs thrown your way. There will always be things like friends, family and the laughs you will share together that will help you get through it all.

It is often said that kids in their teenage years and early twenties have the mentality that they are invincible – that nothing can harm them and they have a full path of events waiting for them ahead.

Death is something that nobody likes to recognize but cannot be ignored. For me, death became unavoidable the day I lost my father during my sophomore year of high school.

The first thing that came to my mind was all of the major stepping stones in my life my dad would be missing out on. Graduation of high school, going to college, and having that daddy daughter dance at your wedding that every girl dreams about and spends months picking out the song for. I am now learning how to make these strides in my life without my best friend.

Not having your parent there to help makes you stronger but also weaker and that is okay.

Your four years of late night cramming for tests and spending $20 at the café for coffee aren’t going to be perfect. You will fall and not having that one person to pick you back up is going to knock you right back down at first but I found ways to make the fall softer and easier to get back up. So to all the kids out there without their loved one in this leap of life, listen up. You will be okay.

There are going to be nights of crying, anger and overall denial that this is what your life is like now. The adjustment of college will come with time but not having your best friend there is going to make it slower. The truth is, I still have not adjusted and it has been nearly three years since I lost my dad. Know that they are there with you in every class you take, making sure to tell you to eat breakfast before that big math exam, to not stay up late laughing with your friends about the fool you made of yourself in speech class, and telling you they love you every night before you go to bed.

I have found company is the key to fighting this obstacle. Making friends in college is one of the foundation blocks to getting through these stressful years of becoming an adult.

Having those late night runs to the dinning hall for the $1 slice pizza you really should not be having will be the memories and events that help you carry on each day.

My friends have helped me realize what is is like to be genuinely happy again. After my dad passed during my sophomore year, my friends in high school did not know how to deal with what I was going through. Then again, neither did I. When you start college as a whole new chapter in your life, you are then learning about people and their past along with teaching others about yours. The thought of telling all of my new friends that I lost my father at the age I did and I was not like most teens our age made me feel sick all over again. Gaining the amazingly accepting and goofy friends I did has been one of the biggest blessing in my life.

If there is any advice I can give you is also understanding what others are going through and accepting that each person mourns differently. One person to accept for all that they are now is the parent that is now left to take on every task of raising you. My mom has taken on the task of filling the void of my father. The truth is, nobody can ever truly do that. Even though my mom will never be able to laugh and understand the stupid jokes my dad and I loved, she has stepped up in making sure I am always loved, laughing, and never giving up. Give credit to that other parent who now is doing the unspeakable, taking care of their child or children while carrying on without their soulmate.

Take each day as it comes and never be too hard on yourself. It may not go back to what it once was but you will start to develop a new way of life and thinking. This is not going to come easy but the curveballs thrown your way will become easier to knock out of the park.