These people think they’d be a better punter than the current ones

The answer to our prayers may be sitting across from you in the HUB

After our football team’s performance during Saturday’s game against Ohio State, Coach James Franklin is looking for a new punter.

According to, Franklin said that the performances of the current punters, Daniel Pasquariello and Chris Gulla, just aren’t good enough, while praising Ohio State punter, Cameron Johnston. Praising Ohio State… this man is serious.

While both punters have experience and training, in the Ohio State game they only managed to get 33.4 yards in seven punts.

So considering Franklin’s campus-wide call for a new punter, The Tab went around and asked students if they think they have what it takes.

Sam Urvin, Freshman, Mining Engineer

“The leg lamp from a ‘A Christmas Story’ can do better. I can kick it far, but not straight, but still better than him.”

John Beckford, Senior, Electrical Engineering

“Pasquariello should give up on being a D1 kicker. I can do at least three yards better, with one kick, but that’s me shooting low.”

Tarek Kanaan, Freshman, Civil Engineering

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“I can probably do better. I can kick more than half a soccer field (60 yards).”

Nick Centamore,  Junior, Telecommunications

“Tommy Murphy, my roommate, is trying out. He’s very good he can punt 60 yards.”

Joe Centamore, Freshman, Undecided

“I probably wouldn’t do better.”

Steve Donaldson, Senior, Criminology

“Actually, yeah probably. It can’t be that hard to punt.”

Adam Qureshi, Junior, Psychology

“No. Absolutely not. I’m probably the worst punter on campus.”

Paul Roman, Senior, Psychology

“No I personally couldn’t. Do I think in a campus of 44,000 we couldn’t? Yes we could.”

Carissa Christy, Senior, Public Relations and Psychology

“Yeah, I could do better! Honestly, no actually, I’m not that athletic.”

Sean Murphy, Senior, Agriculture Business Management

“No. If you put me on a football field and told me to kick 35 yards, I could, but not with with a bunch of guys running at me.”

Alley Paul, Senior, Telecommunications

“Yeah I can do slightly better. I’m slightly athletic, I’ll try.”

Paris Singh, Sophomore, Supply Chain Management and IST

“I can probably do better than that.”

Skyler Ammend, Junior, Chemical Engineering

“Absolutely I can kick it further. Maybe you can get away with that in high school football, but this is college football. That was awful, they should have sent out the mascot. Hackenburg with his leg injury can do better.”

Anthony Williams, Junior, Civil Engineering

“I can do all things through Christ who strengthens me. – Phillipians 4:13”

Austin Schumacher, Senior, Nuclear Engineering

“Oh definitely. Pasquariello has that stupid little rugby kick, that doesn’t work for anybody. I’ve got the brains and the leg…”

Maybe, with the help of divine intervention, the Penn State Football team can get the punter it needs.

Penn State