The most awkward questions we got about college during Thanksgiving

Well it’s the end of Thanksgiving Break, and you’ve officially mastered the “I’m not wine drunk, no I didn’t eat half of this cherry pie with my bare hands” look. It’s not Halloween but you still look like Carrie, and you know what, it looks pretty damn great.

Penn’s own Angela Huang killed it as Carrie for Halloween this year…no pun intended

You’ve steered your way through awkward questions of “So how are your classes?” They’re shit. Everyone’s a quasi-intellectual and they use the word “quasi” which makes matters infinitely worse.

Not to mention that apparently your teachers will actually fail you. What a time to be alive, my friends.

And somehow, after three days of family bonding you still find yourself fielding the most dreaded of college-related questions:

“How are you enjoying first semester?” First semester is like riding a bike. Except that bike is on fire. And you’re in hell.

“Show me some pictures!” “Haha yeah of course let me just uh…” You find that one picture from NSO with Amy Gutmann, and then cha cha slide right on out of there before they see the fateful “Recently Deleted.”

“So have you met any cute boys?” Yes, but the real question is have they met me? Cute boys at Penn are like the baristas at Starbucks—they always forget your name and only call you when your drink is ready…if you’re lucky.

“Is that your boyfriend? He’s on your Facebook/Instagram/Twitter/he looked at you that one time when you were stuffing a cronut down your throat at an alarmingly fast pace.” If that doesn’t scream a good time, then I don’t know what does. As you gracefully sashay your way back to the counter for another, you casually look back at him and mouth “are we humans, or are we dancers?”

“Oooh who’s texting you miss popular?” My grandma. My grandma is texting me.

“How much money have you been spending?” “Mom, what’s important is that we have our health.” You know you’re a college kid when your main source of income is from the Penny Arcade at TD Bank.

“Have you been working out lately?” Yes, in fact, I am in the process of becoming a Victoria’s Secret model. It’s such a secret, that not even Victoria knows.

So basically, as long as you stay away from the “quasi’s” of the world I am pretty sure you’ve had a quasi-successful semester.

You are so much more than a pseudo.