Shots fired: The true meaning behind that free drink
Thanks, but is this drink really free?
We all have our individual interpretations of the hookup culture at Penn, but a common euphemism for hooking up involves drinking.
While this scenario is definitely not the case for everyone, there sometimes is the expectation that when someone—especially if you just met that person—suggests “shots,” they are actually suggesting something else…
It’s Thursday night and Sam has just arrived at CODA with three of her closest friends.
Jane whispers to her friends: “Ugh, I’ve already spent $20 for the cover charge, there is no way I’m spending another $10 on every shot. Let’s go flirt with some guys at the bar to get them to buy us drinks.”
Flirting turns into bets on who can get the most free drinks, which translates to who could get drunk the fastest.
That’s where Jake comes in.
After some casual winking and arm-touching, he “graciously” offers, “Let’s take a shot together.”
A true gentleman… Three shots deep, Sam playfully kisses him on the cheek and leaves, saying that she has to return to her friends.
She is rather impressed with herself that she “got off so easily.”
At the late night, Jake bumps into Sam by the bar and—after a quick, barely audible hello—grabs the back of her head and pulls her towards him.
He starts aggressively making out with her, and although she does not find it pleasant at all, she does not attempt to stop him. She thinks to herself that she must have led him on by accepting his drinks, and that she owed him at least this much.
She’s made out with plenty of guys and has gotten with him before, so why would she not again? Jake and Sam also run in the same social circle, so she cannot alienate him by rejecting his advances.
Sam, coming down from her “alcohol high,” starts regretting this “sloppy hookup.” She runs to her friends that are dancing by the DJ and tells them what had happened.
“If you really didn’t want to get with him, you shouldn’t have flirted with him at the downtown. You gave him mixed signals.”
So do free drinks count as a free pass?
Sophomore Ana Maria Geoana says: “Once a guy buys me drink, I definitely feel obligated to spend some time with him at the bar. It starts with that time at the bar, and you stick with him the whole night, and one thing leads to another.”
Maddie agrees, saying that: “If you do not know the person that offered you a drink, it’s probably because of a physical attraction. So a physical expectation is also probable.”
Freshman Andreas argues that society has trained us to adopt this mentality: “The societal standard is that if a guy buys you a drink, he’s into you, and by accepting it, you are reciprocating that interest.”
“Also, sometimes the atmosphere of a club is one of getting drunk and wanting to hookup, so that carries an additional expectation or pressure. But at the same time, your acceptance of a nice gesture shouldn’t have to mean that you are obligated to hookup with them.”
There are certainly exceptions, but there are often expectations that go along with drinks or a date-type scenario. Whether you agree or disagree with the attitudes towards this form of socializing, it’s definitely a good idea to acknowledge how alcohol can take control in these situations.
Even if a drink does not have “strings attached,” the societal pressure for girls to act in a certain way is still prevalent on a college campus.