Best places to cry on campus

Elliptical at Pottruck Gym

No gains without (emotional) pain

A controversial contender, Pottruck is actually the perfect place to cry in plain sight. People might think the the tear rolling down your face is actually sweat, or better yet, they think you’re crying from working out too hard. And if you just failed a midterm, exercising will deceive you into thinking you have your life together. (You don’t.)

Wawa

Maybe your mom comforted you when you cried as a kid. But you’re an adult now, and there’s only one place you can go when it’s 4am on a Thursday, you’re drunk, you haven’t finished your CIS 160 homework, and all you want is mac & cheese. Wawa. Wawa will always be there for you. Bask in its comforting embrace of fresh bread, meatball subs and nice cashiers. Bonus points if you can avoid seeing anyone you know.

Van Pelt GSR

As Group Sobbing Rooms, GSRs are perfect for when group projects go haywire, the tension in the room is too high and someone inevitably breaks down and starts yelling. Sure, your project may have been due at midnight and it’s now 1.30am, but at least crying can be a form of team bonding.

BioPond

When your crying gets desperate and you fantasize about dropping out of Penn and moving to the middle of nowhere, go to the BioPond. Not only will the water of the Pond catch your tears, but it’s also so quiet you can shut out the sounds of car horns, drunk Quad kids and your own intrusive thoughts. Try sitting on a rock and gazing off into the distance for the perfect sadboi moment.

In line at Frontera

Urban legend says there exists a cashier at Frontera who, if she sees you crying, will give you a free Chipotle Chicken Sandwich. I may or may not be able to confirm this from personal experience. But try to keep your tears to a minimum until you’re in front of the cashier–the lines are always long and full of unsympathetic hungry people.

Under The Button

Sobbing under the button is the new sex under the button.