It’s OK we don’t use OkCupid anyway, your ranking means nothing
How did they get it so wrong?
OkCupid, aka the poor man’s Tinder, recently tried to release a legitimate the social ranking of the top twenty prestigious colleges in the country.
The founders of OkCupid were Harvard math majors, and if that doesn’t scream a good time, I don’t know what does.
Anyway, after hearing of the survey, we decided to go through the findings and annotate them with our thoughts.
Attractiveness
This scale was based off of the number of likes the person gets on OkCupid, which is interesting because who the hell goes on OkCupid in the first place.
UPenn’s gotten a nice 10th, Congratulations fellow Quakers, we are “average” looking. Or maybe too good looking to be on OkCupid? You decide.
Partying
This ranking combined data from a questionnaire about drug/alcohol use and the overall social scene.
OkCupid had the audacity to rank Penn at 6th, below WashU and UChicago.
Did OkCupid not read Playboy’s article last year?
Sex Drive
We are 18th… Out of 20. We are practically batting zero (“Look I can use straight terms”— Justin).
The only two schools we beat out were Dartmouth, whose students are too cold to leave their monogrammed sheets, and Notre Dame, the only Catholic school on the list.
Our thoughts…
So why is Wash U ranked so high on all of the rankings, it is the Kevin Jonas of the elite school community.
Brown has the “highest” of the rankings… Ironic.
The notoriously “hipster” schools (Brown, UChicago, Northwestern) do relatively well on all of the rankings. This is probably because they are too “mainstream” for tinder, so they go to OkCupid instead.
My friend from Penn used to party at Brown in her senior year and she said every “straight” guy there experiments at least once.
UChicago is rated as third top party school, which makes sense because their self-acclaimed slogan is “Where fun comes to die.”
What is OkCupid’s reasoning might you ask? “They use big words.”
Yeah, I like using big words at parties too, telling people about “PSEUDOPSEUDOHYPOPARATHYROIDISM” is a sure-fire way to get you laid.
Northwestern is “more love-driven,” as “they’re more likely to wait 3-5 dates before having sex.”
So basically if you’re not married by the 10th date you’re doing it wrong, kids.
The next time you find yourself on okCupid… Just don’t.
You can find someone to Netflix and chill, or if you’re frugal—YouTube and chill— somewhere else