How to avoid arguing with your family this Thanksgiving

Thanksgiving is supposed to be a day where we spend time with our extended families enjoying fattening and delicious food. In a perfect world we would be able to sit down with our relatives in silence—too busy stuffing our faces to speak—exchanging pleasantries and corny jokes until it’s time to say goodbye until the next family gathering.

In reality, as soon as we walk through the door we know we’ll be hit with a barrage of personal questions and at some point a heated argument will break out about an aunt’s divorce or politics. Here are a few ways to avoid the always dreadful family arguments this Thanksgiving.

Eat your feelings

If you’re debating whether or not to help yourself to a second serving of mashed potatoes and gravy, the answer is always yes. When your plate gets to the point where it’s about halfway empty excuse yourself from the table and pile on some more dinner roles or a couple spoonfuls of stuffing.

Constantly having food in your mouth means you won’t say something you’ll regret later. If your grandpa suddenly wants to air his grievances with everyone you’ll probably be too worried about choking on something to speak.

Stock up on your favorite alcohol

The judgmental glances from your family are well worth bringing a small fortune’s worth of your favorite alcohol along for dinner. The arguments are still going to happen, but if you’re lucky you won’t be able to remember them in the morning.

Take a drink every time:

• Someone asks if you’re dating anyone
• Someone asks how school is going
• Someone says the words “liberal” or “millennial”
• Someone complains that they’re full
• Someone unbuttons their pants after eating

Down the whole drink when:

• Someone asks about post-graduation plans
• Someone brings up the election
• Someone uses the word “moist” to describe the turkey
• Someone mentions your ex

Fake an illness

If you can’t bring yourself to deal with the guaranteed family drama you can always pretend to have a cold or strep throat. Make sure mom and dad remember to bring home a plate of food for you and a couple slices of pie. Staying away from family all together is the only sure fire way to avoid a night that could give Jerry Springer a run for his money.

Take a vow of silence

You can’t get into an argument if you’re not speaking right?

Only speak in quotes from your favorite T.V. show

Bask in the glory as your family members have to listen to you quote lines from Game of Thrones or Bob’s Burgers in reply to every awkward or uncomfortable question. Take the opportunity to channel that character you’ve always looked up to. Time how long it takes them to question your sanity or stop speaking to you all together.

Hire someone to pretend to be your significant other

We’re all broke college kids, so bribing someone with a home cooked family dinner on top of the one they’ll probably have with their family is the way to anyone’s heart. Sure, this might not help you avoid political discussion, but at least your family will stay off your back about settling down for a few more months. With someone new around it might be the only thing they want to talk about.

There’s something about the holidays that make them both the the most enjoyable times of the year, yet the most frustrating. When we get together with a large group of people there are bound to be disagreements about a few things (or everything). Follow these tips to make your Thanksgiving a little bit more bearable and slightly hilarious.