Ohio State announces $42 million campus rejuvenation project

Ohio State is a historic university with a rich history behind it and a blossoming future ahead. It has just been announced that $42 million will be invested in various facets of the institution to help supplement the student body experience. The full details of their plan can be found here.

Cardale Jones also tweeted his excitement about this new project.

Highlights include the following:

Discounted parking passes

The University has finally come to terms with the outrageous price gouging of CampusParc and will be cutting pass fees in half next year. There is also a plan to triple on-campus parking meters to at least six meters campus-wide so students have the option of parking for five minutes “without paying $10 for a fucking parking garage.”

Morrill and Lincoln Tower overhaul

There have been numerous frustrations among students regarding the cramped corridors of the west campus towers. Recognizing the unfairness of charging an already outrageous fee for these run down dumps, the university has made plans for a massive overhaul until the towers are “livable for a decent, God-fearing human being” as one top university official put it.

Winter sidewalk care

Student safety is a number one priority and we’re not going to be lucky enough to experience winters such as this year down the road. University officials have promised to double down on snow removal efforts, ensuring sidewalks will be cleared within 15 days of snowfall. This will entail additional staff and a possible increase to as much as $20,000 a year salary for facility workers.

Optional meal plans for underclassmen

It is an enormous financial commitment to undertake four years of education at Ohio State. With the newly implemented STEP program, freshmen and sophomores will be required to commit to at least two years of meal plan at Ohio State which is well over $100 a week. Students now have the option to opt out of meal plan and purchase their own food. “We’re here to provide an education, not force grown-ass adults to buy overpriced meal plans” said a prominent Ohio State board member.

Students and faculty alike are thrilled to see this $42 million be put to good use in the Ohio State community. Education and safety are always the central focus that drives future decision making.

Oh nevermind, it’s all going into the Football stadium.

Check the date.