NYU new year’s resolutions

Alright, guys, let’s get one thing straight: we’re lucky to be here. We’re in one of the best schools in the country, and we’re obviously the best in New York (bye Columbia), but the new year is upon us and some things need to change.

No, I’m not talking about your resolution to go on an all-juice diet or wearing-less-and-going-out-more…I’m talking about the things NYU needs to take a little peek at and reconsider.

We asked a bunch of people what bothers them most about NYU to change in the new year, and here’s the beef we got:

“Stern having it’s own wifi…What makes them so special?!”

No, Sternies, most students don’t actually want to be you. In fact, the thought of taking Math and Business classes for four years kind of makes me super nauseous.

But, quite a few people are a bit butt-hurt over the fact that you have your own wifi. Why? Because when our mere mortals’ wifi comes crashing down, we’re picturing you guys laughing at us from your Stern cubicle in your suits, or tuxedos, or jumpsuits, or whatever you guys wear to class. I’m not even sure how to fix this problem, or how anyone expects to “fix” this “problem”. But you know what? It’s irritating, and for some reason feels super unfair. So I’m going to continue to be annoyed until someone changes the circumstances or feeds me a cookie.

“Finals week is so inconvenient… Do you know how expensive flights are on December 23rd?!”

OK, even the professors think this is ridiculous. Why is our finals week so late? What did we do to deserve this? Is this because of that bad-luck chain-email I didn’t forward in 2008? Ugh.

We all just want to go home early enough so we don’t have to basically be late for Christmas Eve Dinner, is that so much to ask? And not selling a kidney to pay for the flight home would be preferable as well. Please please please, next year can we please just promise that we’ll be out of here before (I dunno) the rest of AMERICA is on break?

“We should totally switch the amount of F buses with the amount of E buses.”

I AGREE WITH THIS WHOLEHEARTEDLY. #GramFam

Every single day I ride the bus. There are three kinds of people: the people in Gram, the people in StuyTown and the people too lazy to just walk back to Palladium. Except the issue is, usually 50 percent of the people on the bus are Gram kids, about 25 percent are StuyTown kids and the remaining 25 percent are lazy Palladium kids (I was one of them last year, I’ll own up to it). And do you know how hard it is to catch an F bus compared to an E bus? Pretty damn difficult. We basically have to plan our schedule around when an F will leave, ESPECIALLY when the weather stinks.

Here’s an idea: why don’t we just switch one or two E buses to the F route so that the majority of the kids who take the bus (Gramercy people) can get where they need to get to and the spare few StuyTown students can walk an avenue or two if they can’t find an E bus? The best part is, the bus would still stop at 14th, so the Palladium kids could continue with their lazy habits! Everybody wins!

“Why does Palladium not serve breakfast or lunch anymore?”

OK honestly, if this was me, I would have revolted the first week of school. Apparently, no one moving into Palladium knew about this change until they were already moved in. I lived in Palladium last year (RIP 2k14), and their serving breakfast and lunch honestly made my life so much easier, and was one of the sole reasons why I chose that dorm (besides the gym, obvi). But this seems so silly. I know Hayden is done with construction now, but are we really going to let a (ginormous) dining hall go to waste for 18 hours of the day everyday?

“Some of the supplies NYU buys is way too expensive to even make sense.”

Most of you have probably seen that picture on NYU Snaps of the cost of a single Bobst chair ($1000… when it’s on SALE), and that’s just the beginning.

People have been coming forward with more and more pictures of supplies to expose NYU’s silly spending habits, and it’s almost scary. I don’t mind the occasional luxury, but NYU needs to chill with certain things. Like, is this where my tuition is going? What’s next, Tahitian-vanilla bar-soap in all the bathrooms?

“Meal swipes are so expensive, and just not worth it whatsoever.”

Alright, so I’m constantly in the dining halls, I won’t lie — I enjoy the convenience of not having to plan and cook meals ahead of time! But I feel guilty for the price every time I see what my meal swipe gets me. Why? Do the calculations and a single meal swipe might be costing you $15.

That’s right, $15.

Does a mediocre salad, a $1 bag of chips and a soda sound like $15 to you? Me neither. This might be why I see everyone eating Halal and ramen every chance they get…

Like I said guys, we’re lucky to be here. But let’s be honest: that’s costing us a pretty penny. We might as well get our money’s worth and confront some of things that annoy us all.

“The printer line in the Bobst Lower Level is always so long, I could probably finish my other homework before I get to print.”

The line for the printers in Bobst or Kimmel is usually pretty bad no matter when you go: last year I had to account for the possible 15 minutes it might take to actually print my stuff before I could get to class. Our school has so much money, it’s almost ridiculous — can we just please get an additional printer lab? Or even an extra printer?! Please?!