The case for Hanukkah (or Chanukah)

Shalom everybody! Now put on your yarmulke, because on Sunday, it’s time to celebrate Hanukkah.

I know what you’re thinking by now, and no, that was not a mistype. You’re going to be reading a lot about Christmas celebrations, traditions, memories… the list goes on and on. However, I’ve been asked far too many times already what I do for Hanukkah, which begins on December 6 and ends on December 14, and I’m sure that I’m not the only one to have been asked the same question here at NY-Jew. So, without further adieu, let’s address what it’s like to celebrate Chanukah!

First off, the golden question: what is the proper spelling of this holiday (don’t listen to these people)? Well, “Hanukkah” and “Chanukah” are the two most widely accepted spellings, and the great thing is that they can be used interchangeably, just like I did above! Like, what would happen if we spelled “Christmas” something like “Cristmiss” (spoiler alert: all hell will break loose)? You’re fine with spelling Chanukah/Hanukkah either way, just don’t be like Jake Owen (i.e. Jay Cohen). 

Secondly, we need to know the story of Hanukkah! Well, a long time ago in a galaxy far far away (the land of Jerusalem from 168-166 BC), the Evil Empire (the Greeks) conquered and disallowed the Rebels (the Jews) from having basic rights (practicing their religion, particularly reading the Torah). The Rebels (Jews), led by Luke Skywalker, Leia Skywalker, Han Solo and his teddy bear (Judah and the Maccabees) then rose up, defeated the Evil Empire (Greeks), and drove them out of the galaxy far far away (Jerusalem). By now, you should be able to tell that the story of Hanukkah clearly copied the plot of Star Wars (seeing the midnight premiere could count as one of my Hanukkah presents, but I’ll get to the presents part later). Nonetheless, it was a miracle! 

However, the real miracle of Hanukkah occurred when the Jews, led by Judah and the Maccabees, lit the eternal light in the Second Temple using the only jar of oil they could find. The oil was only supposed to last for a few hours, but it incredibly lasted for eight days, which is why there are eight days of Hanukkah. Additionally, Jews light the candles of the Menorah according to each day that is celebrated, so on the first night, you light the candle in the middle and the candle to the farthest left, on the second night, the candle in the middle and the two most left candles, etc. Here’s some photo evidence.

On the eighth and final night of Hanukkah, the Menorah will look like this!

The wise Adam Sandler puts it best, “Hanukkah is the Festival of Lights / Instead of one day of presents we have eight crazy nights!” Because of the defeat of the Greeks and the oil lasting for eight days, Hanukkah is a celebration. Like Christmas, us Jews get presents, and at younger ages, my friends and I would get a small present each night from a different relative. At college age, we usually get one or two things we would really like, again similar to Christmas. And being college students, I think you know that green object that most of us desire for Chanukkah… get your mind out of the gutter: I’d just like some extra cash.

With the addition of delicious potato latkes, the game of Dreidel and increasingly clever parodies released each year (who says there aren’t Hanukkah Carols?!?), Hanukkah never fails to disappoint, especially because it brings the Jewish community together for such a festive holiday. Those who celebrate Christmas, and Kwanzaa for that matter, can have it all they want, because I wouldn’t trade Hanukkah for any other celebration. So to all my fellow NY-Jews, I leave you with this, again from the wise Adam Sandler:

“So drink your gin and tonicah,
And smoke your marijuanikah,
If you really, really wannakah,
Have a happy, happy, happy,
Happy Chanukah!”