Let’s talk about the Starbucks by Bobst
It’s the closest cafe to the library and it knows it
Fucking Starbucks.
Alright, so I’ve held my silence for too long, and today for the millionth time my cream cheese was forgotten. I will no longer hold my peace.
It’s the attitude, the cold food and the fucker who keeps stealing my $7 beef brisket and cheese sandwich that I get on really sad days. Behold as I highlight and emphasize everything that is wrong with society.
What’s with the line?
Every. Single. Time.
The line goes on for many, many kilometers. Average wait time: forever. An NYU student will spend a good 20 percent of their NYU experience waiting in line for the Starbucks.
Now that’s existential crisis material.
Can we just say fuck it already and go somewhere else? Hello? Think Coffee? Literally two blocks. Lazy college kiddies.
Run for your order
This one goes out to all my fellow Tapingo users out there: What’s up with people taking each others orders? Not cool man. MORALS, people. MORALS!
You get your little text and by this time you know you have to leg it to the coffee + bagel. You grab the coffee only to realize some dipshit stole your bagel because in reality the bagel was ready 10 minutes ago and they thought, “Oh the hell with it, let me take it.”
Once you get your order. There. Is. No. Cream. Cheese.
Attitude
And after you get all those they of course forget the bloody cream cheese. Or if you say “Oh kind sir please may I have some more?”, in my experience the answer is always no. If your order is taken it’s your fault. (As a passive aggressive troll that I am, I retaliate by giving them bad reviews on Tapingo – take that lady who said I should get there earlier).
Musical chairs
So those who were champions of this at five now have the ability to go varsity.
At NYU, we might not be known for our sports but that’s because musical chairs hasn’t become a real sport yet. (We’ll wait and get the Olympic gold when the time comes.)
No seats.
Ever.
My legs hurt.
Sorry we’re out of that…
Does this sound familiar: It’s 8am and you walk up to the cashier. You ask, “Er…can I get the everything bagel please?”
The cashier responds, “Sorry we’re out of that”
So you change your order slightly, “What about the plain bagel?”
The cashier again says, “Out of that too.”
HOW? WHY? STARBUCKS WHY YOU BREAK MY HEART SO MUCH?!
As you can see I have consequently become a crazy bagel obsessed over-caffeinated squirrel, but that’s ok.
At the end of the day I love you Starbucks.