British and NYU: So many things don’t make sense

• Cinnamon flavored whiskey is some cruel joke played on desperate freshmen. The taste of burning phenolic liquor should in now way ever be followed by cinnamon. Why?

• So is the 21+ drinking age. Plenty of articles, blog posts and general social media statuses of one sort of another have been written about this, but it’s especially bad at NYU. At the very least on the traditional college campus a pissed off and stressed out matriculant can stumble into a frat party or some friend’s apartment. Where are we supposed to go? Why are we forced to wait? Between the high-end Meatpacking clubs and boozy speakeasies every single possible establishment IDs, and it’s absolutely infuriating.

• Back to the cinnamon thing, you can buy anything in a deluxe cinnamon flavor — the same goes for peanut butter and pumpkin.

• Yet somehow British food is considered disgusting by comparison.

  How is that disgusting?

• London and England are used interchangeably. Being British does not mean you’re from London. More importantly, being British doesn’t mean you’re English. This is supposed to be the global university. How is it that we have portal campuses in Abu Dhabi and Shanghai, but the vast majority of NYU students don’t seem to realize centuries long tensions exist between different peoples within the UK?

• Being British also doesn’t mean you know Harry Styles, the Queen or your sister’s ex-boyfriend’s cousin who studied abroad that one summer.

• Everything/everywhere smells of weed. Apparently the ridiculous drinking age (see above) makes it so that getting weed in this country is actually easier than getting alcohol. And because we’re in the middle of the Village, the spiritual home of all musicians and artists, the pungent scent of burning Mary Jane wafts through the dorm hallways and lower Manhattan streets so often you’d think it was legal.

• A GPA is probably the most expensive form of torture to exist. In England you just have to pass your first year, and then you have a clean slate to start from.

• NYU is the largest Apple showroom. Where else would you find so many Macs/iPhones/iPads in one place? Even the “alternative” kids have them.

• People treat Starbucks like it’s their second home…

  This line…

• Perhaps it’s because we have to share a room with a stranger during freshman year. British universities generously offer their students singles. There’re singles at NYU (looking at you Alumni), but you’d have to sell half a lung, a kidney, three or four toes and some of your hair to afford them.

• Freshman, Sophomore, Junior… what was wrong with first/second/third year? Are numbers too uncool for uncouth NYU youth?

• NYU students complain about the weather just as much as British students. And then they argue about it, insert “I’m from the Midwest, so this is shorts weather!”

• New York winters…
• All of NYU’s promotional pictures were taken in the summer. I resent this and I resent NYU for making me think the sun’ll shine over the arch all year long while squirrels bring me flowers and words pour out of me into a journal that’s picked up and published by some big time publisher.

The dream:

The reality:

• Yes, we do have a national healthcare system, and no I don’t want to waste my time debating its merits with you.

• Why does everyone keep going on about “community”? Honestly.

• There’s a sense of guilt when your living costs are lower here than in England. Perspective: Ben & Jerrys costs £5 back home (that’s $7.72 to you Yanks).

• The Middle East is a total mystery and nothing will ever change.

• What’s with the Amendments? If we followed 200 year old laws we’d still be digging colonialism. Put down the guns. It’ll be fine. I promise.
• When we graduate we wear purple robes, when students at OxBridge graduate they wear white tie…

• You think you’re a Tory until you get here and realize you’re a Democrat.

• God forbid you’re a Lib Dem or Labor supporter (the UK’s left wing) because now you’re practically a communist

• Every American’s accent is either super posh (thank you Downton) or cockney.

• Contrary to popular belief, Scotland is a different country. Trust me, the Scots would not appreciate you thinking Edinburgh was south of the border.

• No, you’re not a real football fan if you support Man U or Chelsea. We all know you did it for the glory.

  Fans

• NYU’s buildings may seem old, but then you realize the school hasn’t even reached its bicentennial.