Diana and me: Experiences with a (would-be) pornstar
It was as awful as it sounds
Two years ago I was a freshman moving into Third North, excited and nervous at the thought of sharing a suite with three strangers.
My roommate Diana seemed sweet, demure, and almost fragile.
Diana
She smiled a lot, unlike me—no matter how hard I tried to express my happiness I couldn’t run away from my Resting Bitch Face.
I figured having such a delightful roommate would brighten up my college experience. Little did I know what she would turn into.
Third North fresh
No socks on the door
One of the most dreaded moments of dorm life came during the third week of Freshman year when Diana decided to bring her girlfriend over.
Although my first sexiling experience wasn’t too bad (I slept on my suitemate Ashley’s bed while she was away with family), numerous unwanted sleepovers continued .
Diana asked me on the first day of spring semester whether her friend could stay over the following Saturday night. I said her friend could, thinking it would be her high school friend. I didn’t want to pry or ask too many questions. But when Friday arrived, I found out from Ashley that her friend was an online date she was meeting for the first time. I panicked at the thought of sharing a room with a stranger, so I locked all my belongings away in a suitcase and spent the night at a hotel.
Scene of so many crimes
Oh, and not to mention how Ashley and I would always notice a trail of blood trickling down the bathtub every month. After confronting Diana regarding her menstrual cup use, she did little to nothing to clean them up.
Her reusable pads even stuck out onto my dresser.
There’s a man in our bathroom
Two months later on a Saturday night, Diana brought an almost thirty year-old man into our room and introduced him while I was studying.
Ashley caught Diana and the almost-thirty-year-old man in our bathroom when she woke up at 3 am.
I woke up the next morning to discover I was alone in my room. Ashley dead bolted our door after she’d chased them both out. At that point I’d lost all patience with my roommate and confronted her after she avoided me for three days. My combination of RBF and brutal honesty chased her out of our place for a few nights, after which we begrudgingly reconciled over an intervention with our RA. Finals week went by, and I immediately escaped our little home-turned-motel.
I discovered a year later that she became an amateur pornstar.
Needless to say, I’m finally happily living in the comfort of my own apartment and I’m so over with roommates.
You just never know who you’re going to meet.