Nightmare on 8th Street: Roommate horror stories
Simon returned to his dorm to find his roommate had tried to hex him
We all have our fears going into college.
Remember the day before leaving for NYU? Whether you’re from Long Island or somewhere thousands of miles away, we all felt that knot in our stomachs — that fear of moving to a new place and living on your own.
Well, not exactly on your own. Because roommates.
‘I was hexed by my roommate’
Simon lived in U-Hall his freshman year with a roommate from hell.
“It all started with a disagreement over how often his girlfriend could stay over at our place,” Simon recalls. The situation escalated to the point where his roommate decided to move out.
Simon went home one weekend, and returned to his dorm to find his roommate had ejaculated all over his bed. Underneath the bed, he found a pear with a triangle cut out of it.
“I believe I’ve been hexed,” Simon says with confidence.
“Once I noticed the sheets, I immediately tossed everything which could be opened.” He threw away shampoo bottles, food and anything the roommate could have gotten into.
“He was absolutely insane,” Simon concludes. He now has a restraining order against his first freshman roommate.
‘My roommate slept with the lights on’
Caroline, who lived in Third North, had an equally disastrous housing situation, though it didn’t involve any bodily fluids.
“My roommate slept with the lights on,” she recalls.
“I would turn the lights off to try to go to sleep, and she would turn them back on.”
Caroline bought an eye mask and tried to block out some of the light, but it didn’t help much.
“I suffered from sleep deprivation most of my freshman year. She wouldn’t clean up after her food or dishes either. It left the room with a stale, yogurt smell.”
‘My roommate was a nudist’
Maddie, who lived in Brittany, was surprised to find her roommate had a strange comfort with being nude.
“I literally came home one day and she was completely naked. I walked in and gasped, then walked straight out.”
Maddie explained this wasn’t a one-time thing.
“She would play video games in her underwear. No bra.” Maddie had to learn how to cope with her roommate’s strange behavior, though she didn’t necessarily appreciate them.
‘My roommate never showered’
Rachel first discovered her roommate had different hygiene standards when she walked into the room on move-in day.
“She had a certain smell. A kind of stench, like old Thai food. Before this roommate, I had never met someone who could make an entire room smell bad with their presence.”
Rachel and her suitemates even purchased mini deodorant and pretended NYU was giving them out.
They tried to encourage the funky freshman to take one, but she didn’t.
“Instead, she would buy very expensive perfume to try to cover the stench. It didn’t work.”
Luckily, Rachel’s roommate moved out halfway through the year.
‘My suitemates would host orgies in their bedroom’
Riley, a resident of Third North, had an interesting pair of suitemates her freshman year.
In the room adjacent to hers lived her two bisexual roommates. They would invite people over and have group sex.
“I would wake up in the morning and watch seven people roll out. She even admitted they were all fucking each other.”
Riley was once asked to get something from her suitemate’s room when she was out, and upon re-entering the room she found interesting contents in her drawers.
“I found BDSM accoutrements. I was pulling out harnesses and chains.”
Riley, being the nonjudgmental person she is, just left everything where it was, and kept her feelings towards her suitemates to herself.
Prepare for the worst, but you never know — your roommate may be your best friend.