The many barriers to dating at Notre Dame
‘We hugged at Mass. So, what are we?’
Football. Academics. The Golden Dome. Lou Holtz. These are things that Notre Dame is known and loved for.
Gender relations never gets a spot on such a list. We all know that Our Mother’s University isn’t dating nirvana, where finding the person of your dreams is easier than getting into Feve with your friend Katie’s I.D, but why? What are the barriers that need to be broken down to change our culture?
Frosh-O Serenades
No one is ever against a heartfelt rendition of cheesy 80s classics by a group of 20+ sweaty sleep-deprived freshmen who were never recruited for glee-club for some reason, but it needs to stop. Elise, a sophomore Neuroscience major from just-outside Chicago (classic), says of Serenades: “They were super awkward and I didn’t really understand the point of them.” Nailed it, Elise.
Parietals
Every Notre Dame student knows the embarrassing feeling of explaining to a friend what parietals are and how they work. Once you’ve given the basic premise, the inevitable “but why?” comes. And who really has the answers? No Notre Dame student, ever.
The tyrannical administration would probably spew some nonsense about quiet hours and allowing people to get a good night’s sleep, but everyone knows their real motivation; they don’t want us *insert metaphor for having sex here.*
The only reason anyone’s ever set an alarm at 11:55pm
Dining Hall Dates
A staple of the Notre Dame dating scene, described very generously by Cesar, a junior from Texas, as “an adequate way to get to know somebody.” You’ve had a couple Netflix and Chill sessions and you think you might want to take the relationship to the next level. You don’t want to be too forward about it though, because heaven forbid you be impulsive or romantic and ask them out to dinner off campus, at a restaurant, with a menu, and waiters, and nothing to do but talk. As soon as you enter the dining hall, you can feel the piercing looks of other students burning holes through your entire being…it’s abundantly clear to everyone, you are on a dining hall date.
And if you do go on a dhd, PLEASE don’t same side it like this pair
You eek out 25 minutes of riveting conversation about TV, and maybe music if you’re feeling adventurous. If the DHD is going swimmingly, you might even engage in some witty to-and-fro. You leave with a sense of accomplishment, but also a strange sense of relief that the ordeal is over. The DHD isn’t entirely bad, but if you’re going to ask someone on a date, bite the bullet and make it a proper one.
Going to Mass together
Perhaps the most Notre-Dame of all types of exchanges between guys and girls here, going to Mass together can be a big deal in some budding relationships, but let’s face it: it can also be pretty tragic. It epitomizes the “So what are we?” stage. If you’re the type to go to mass with your crush, hugging them during the service is likely as exciting as your love-life will ever get here.
I hugged her during the sign of peace. So, what are we?
Come on, everyone. Let’s sort it out.