The best places to vomit on the UMich campus

Between Game Days, Thursday nights and the Norovirus, the odds that you’ll vomit at some point during the week are inevitable. But, since we go to the best and ~classiest~ school in the world, we don’t just vomit anywhere. Oh no. We Wolverines know how to be sick in style.

So, in the event that you aren’t near one of the many beautiful restrooms on campus, feel free to enjoy one of these many locations instead — just make sure you have someone nearby to hold your hair back.

Cantina

You get major points for throwing up at Cantina. Those nasty stairs? Please, by all means contribute to their nastiness. 7/10 place to throw up if you’re passing by.

Crisler Arena

Ok, this one isn’t very practical for most, but you get 10/10 for ambition if you make it this sick to Crisler Arena. Hey, maybe you’re not at all inebriated — the sheer elevation of them nose-bleed seats is enough to make anyone a little queasy, we get it. 

Law Quad

Picture this: you’re in the Law Library and you open your textbook. You realize how much reading you need to do before your exam in two days and you just physically get sick. It may be the Norovirus, it may be stress or you may just be flat out hungover. Whatever the reason, the point is you’re gonna vom. But you can’t just find the nearest trash can in the Law Library. It’s the Law Library. So what do you do? You silently sprint out of the library because God forbid you disturb the peace and you end up in a corner of the Law Quad. But just when you think everything’s out of your system, you see a bride and groom getting their pictures taken. And you lose it. You lose your pride, your joy and even 10 pounds.

The Cube

I know what you may be thinking. “Why the fuck would I ever vom at The Cube, there’s like nothing over there!” Well, my friends, that’s exactly why you sprint there. Conveniently located next to the Union, promptly make your way to The Cube if you ever feel ill. Why risk throwing up at the crowded Union when you can vom at The Cube with only the occasional tourist to see? 10 points for creativity doesn’t hurt either.

The Hall

As long as you can vacate the area until it’s cleaned up, the hall, any hall actually, is a great place to vom. From your dorm hall to a classroom hall, take your pick. It’s always convenient and always reliable — halls ain’t going nowhere, so feel free to use them at your leisure. 

The Big House

The ultimate place to show the world just how much fun you had while tailgating. If you’ve never made it to the Big House then your tailgating skills are truly unparalleled, but in the event that you make it to at least one game for that ~insta~ you’re probs gonna be ill at some point while you’re there. Honestly, it’ll probably hit you before the first quarter’s even up. But what do you do? For a great story, make it to the M and snap a pic — the odds, though, are that you’re escorted by security to the nearest trash can in the Big House. Those are great, too.

Just remember, wherever you go, whatever you do, throw up safely and Go Blue.