What’s your most embarrassing social media stalking story?

Here’s a definitive list of all the people who like Valentines day: people in relationships, the CEO of Hallmark, and the sad/brilliant people who buy all the 75 percent off heart-shaped candies on the 15th. Seeing all the Instagrams of couples in love only reminds us single folks of how alone we are. So how do we cope? Social media stalking, of course.

Who needs a real boyfriend when you can sit pantsless in bed, eating Reese’s Cups while you look at pictures of that hot guy you follow on Insta? If you know who all the girls on his Instagram are and that his family went to Cancun for vacation in 2011, you’re practically a thing, right? Right.

I won’t be celebrating Valentine’s Day in the way Cupid intended me to, so I took to the streets to find other Umich students who will also be spending this holiday on a NoThai dinner date with their laptop. So sit back and enjoy the borderline creepy, yet low-key impressive tales of stalking I gathered, and take comfort in the fact that you’re not the only one who uses social media to fill the void of human connection. It’s overrated anyways.

(To the people who pretended they don’t cyber-stalk and responded to my question with “Ha, I don’t think I’ve ever done that!” or “That’s so creepy, nooo!” — we all know you sit on a throne of lies.)

Annaliese Cole, Sophomore, Communications

“I knew a cute guy was home for the weekend and I happened to be home on the same weekend, and he told me he was hanging out with his friend, so I then googled the friend and found all the addresses assigned to his last name in the area and drove around to all of them with a friend… we never found it.”

Mads Farmer, Freshman, Nursing

“OK if I’m really missing my boyfriend, I go through every single one of his pictures on Facebook, every album, every tagged picture. I’m not joking.”

Ja-Lia Potter, Junior, Economics

“Oh yeah, whenever there’s a cute guy I like to go through all of his pictures on Instagram.”

Elizabeth Wilkens, Sophomore, Business

“One time I was at a county sporting event and saw this cute boy. His jersey only had his last name, so I went online to the team roster. I searched for his last name and then the high school he attended. I eventually found his Facebook!”

Everritt Philips, Freshman, Architecture (who was less excited about the picture)

“Oh no, no I haven’t done that. Oh wait! I guess I have, I stalk my brother’s girlfriends, I gotta vet them.”

Nicole de la Montanya, Freshman, English

“So my friends and I found out that a friend of ours had gone on a date, and he wouldn’t tell us who she was. The only thing we knew was that another girl in the room knew her, but she also wouldn’t budge. So we went online and looked at all of his student organization pages, went through all of the members, and found the only person who had both him and the girl in the room as mutual friends. Then we located her… and took pictures.”

Rasika Raghavan, Freshman, Vocal Performance

“Okay so I had a huge crush on this guy, so I tried to look him up on every form of social media, like Instagram, Facebook and Twitter, and could not find him. But he had mentioned one time that he’s friends with this one guy in the engineering school so I found *his* Facebook page, and went through all his pictures and found one of the guy I liked, and that’s basically the picture I used to show him to my friends.”

Olive Scott, Freshman, Communications

“So there was this guy who was actually my friend’s cousin and I hardcore Facebook stalked him, then when I was talking to him I mentioned how he liked this one band, which was one of the things I learned from his Facebook, so he then he asked how I knew that and I just had to own up to the stalking and all he said was “cool”… And then walked away.”

William Horne, Freshman, Political Science

“I don’t think I have a specific story but in general I’ll be on Twitter or Instagram before I go to sleep and I’ll look at one of my friend’s pictures who goes to a different college, and then I’ll end up looking at more of their pictures which leads to clicking on the other people in the picture, and then it’s 20 minutes later and I’ll be seven people deep without even realizing it, and I really don’t even know who this person is that I’m looking at.”