Why MSU is better than UofM in every way

Obviously if you chose Michigan State, you know that it is better than our longtime rival UofM, but in case you need a refresher, here is just a spattering of the ways we beat out those damn Wolverines.

Sports

Football: Mark Dantonio has single handedly transformed our football program. We went from being mocked by Michigan fans to beating UofM seven times in the last eight meetings. Our program transforms local players into polished NFL prospects (just look at Jack Conklin) rather than poaching big time recruits like that school down the road does, and we still manage to dominate. And despite what that psychopath in khakis wants you to believe, our streak of crushing little sister isn’t going to stop anytime soon.

Basketball: MSU would not be the same without our basketball team. Throughout history we have been one of the best basketball programs in the nation, appearing in the Final Four nine times. We have only improved in the last 21 years under the coaching of the legendary Tom Izzo. Under his unparalleled spirit and coaching ability, UofM’s dinky program doesn’t stand a chance.

IM Sports: Not only do we hone professional athletes, we also provide opportunities for all students to participate in sports. Our IM teams cover just about every sport from dodgeball to soccer and are non-discriminant on skill level. UofM’s program is not nearly as expansive, giving them three losses in the trifecta of college sports.

Aesthetics

Colors: Green and white are far more attractive than maize and blue could ever try to be. MSU’s colors flatter everyone and are just better over all. Case in point: Nike has full rights to the color “maize” due to their Livestrong campaign and UofM is sponsored by Adidas. So for years, Michigan was actually blue and yellow. Not even maize. LOL.

Fight Song: Rather than just shouting the word hail over and over again, “Victory for MSU” is a beautifully crafted masterpiece. It references our campus, our propensity for winning, our ability to play good ball, and our kick-ass color scheme. It is hella fun to sing, and we even have fun clapping and fist pumping to go along with it. Not to mention the awesome band that plays it to get us hype at every sporting event.

Pretentiousness: While it may be challenging for some UMich students to understand, just because you go to a prestigious university, you do not have to be a grade A douche. While it is hard to generalize an entire student body, UofM students are incredibly pretentious compared to any Spartan that I have ever met.

Social Lives: Cedar Fest, darties, frats, Rama, etc. – we take the cake. The MSU experience is one of a kind and we’d be lying if we didn’t attribute some of our greatness to our lively social aspect. On the same thread, our Rick’s is wayyyyyyyy better than their Rick’s.

Location Location Location

Campus: Our campus is gorgeous. We have beautiful architecture, a beautiful river, beautiful trees everywhere and even beautiful animals. Walking to class is actually enjoyable at MSU because everything is just so aesthetically pleasing. I couldn’t even imagine living on a campus that was divided and constrained by a city.

Rural v. Urban: MSU is the nation’s first land grant college and we have done a spectacular job of staying true to our agricultural roots. Within campus, everything is natural and striving to be green, and just outside of the main part of campus are sprawling nature reserves and fields. Drive 65 miles south, and you come to a college monopolized by a city. Everything is urban and controlled by the city of Ann Arbor. Ann Arbor thrives without UofM, while East Lansing is MSU, creating an entirely different vibe and a much more cohesive experience for Spartans.

Squirrels and ducks: If our mascot wasn’t a Spartan, it would totally be one of these cute little woodland creatures. They’re everywhere and make MSU one of a kind. The closest UMich gets is their Wolverine mascot, and those suckers don’t even live here anymore.

Academics

Packaging: Does UMich even have one of these??? Meanwhile, our Packaging program in number one in the country. Enough said.

Photo Credit: MSU Today

Study Abroad: Michigan State’s study abroad programs are among the nation’s best. We offer 260 different courses in over 60 countries. When I tried to find any comparable information on UMich’s website I couldn’t find it. And their website was weird and lame. Sooooo, we win handily.

Education: Michigan State also leads in our education program. While you always hear about how smart UofM grads are, we have a better education program. Little ironic in my opinion.

Agriculture: We are the kings and queens of agriculture. Whether you’re an ag major or not, you still appreciate all the animals we have around here and our ag based roots. I don’t even know where the farm nearest UofM is. Again, it’s not even a competition. 

So whether you’re a proud Spartan, or still considering where you want to go to school, here’s a reminder that MSU is the right choice.