How I really feel about Greek life as an international student

Greek life – a ‘life’ that glorifies paying for friends and all that jazz that comes with being a part of the sisterhood/brotherhood. From what I had come to know, this was what dreams were made of.

Being from Australia, aside from playing fetch with my pet kangaroo, I spent most of my glory days watching your typical American flicks, most of which depicted heinous frat parties in the most ridiculously enticing way possible. For me, Greek life seemed like the ultimate way to prolong the fact that you are now an adult and should therefore act like one.

Well – as it turns out, frat boys and sorority sisters aren’t just some Hollywood conjured myth.

My insight into their incomprehensible life all began on my very first game day at MSU. Never have I seen so many wannabe cheerleaders and guys sporting the ‘my daddy will sue you’ kit in one space. Little did I know that dressing in the same outfit as your sister was back in vogue and last time I checked, my Grandpa was the only one who could rock a fanny pack.

Also, in case you are like myself and have been living under a rock, going out in public wearing an oversized tank top as a dress is now deemed socially acceptable. Well apparently so.

Blinded by utter enlightenment, I failed to notice the preppy looking 17-year-old all up in my grill.

“Who do you know here?” he asked with this self-entitled look on his face.

My naïve little Australian-self replied with, “um, no one, but I’m from Australia!”

Well what do you know? The gate swung open and from then on, everything was a blur. Or perhaps all the clone-looking humans caused me to spiral into a state of amnesia. Confused and feeling rather bewildered, I turned to the person next to me who seemed to frequent these kinds of social gatherings.

“What do you call these beings?” I asked as I pointed at the cult-like swarm of oversized tank tops, knee high socks, and fanny packs.

I was soon informed that the name of this species is “Sororiteus Sistamius”, or more commonly known as “Sorority Sisters”. Endemic to frat houses, you will not find these creatures simply roaming the likes of Geeder Village. But rather, they prefer finding habitat in Lululemon and Starbucks. During the harsh Michigan winter, they are often found seeking shelter within the warm consoles of a North Face coat and/or Hunter boots.

Okay – I may not be David Attenborough, but I am fairly confident I could narrate a full episode of Planet Earth purely featuring the tendencies of these undeniably interesting humans.

While some fraternity brothers like to think they’ve escaped association with their female counterparts, unfortunately they too, stick out like a sore thumb. A very predictable sore thumb. It’s almost as if “thou must wear Sperry’s at all hours of the day” was thrown on the end of the Ten Commandments.

Following my eye opening first game day, I often found myself walking to class playing a real life version of Where’s Waldo, or rather, Where’s the Frat Star. You know you’ve got yourself a winner when you spot a Ralph Lauren Polo, Sperry’s and Chubbies.

And what about Wizard Whitebeard, you ask? Well – he takes form as those very few seniors who are slowly coming to terms with the sobering realization that the second they graduate, no ones going to give a damn if they were a Phi Gam or a Sig. Same kit, just minus the sense of entitlement.

To this day, I still find myself questioning why it had taken all of my twenty years on this Earth to realize fray boys and sorority sisters are actually a thing. My sincere apologies if my geed-like observations have offended any of you frat stars. But rest assured, not one of you fell short of my expectations – expectations set high by the man himself, Steve Stifler.

**This is simply intended to be a lighthearted perspective on Greek life from someone who comes from a country that does not have such traditions. By no means does this article intend to offend anyone or discredit all the philanthropic work sororities and fraternities partake in. Sparty on Greeks.