Introducing the clip-on man bun

Ever contemplate hopping on the man bun train then realize you don’t have the patience to actually grow one out?

Well, let your inner hipster rejoice. The clip-on man bun has arrived.

No, really – it’s a thing. And it’s here to mend the broken souls of man bun-less men everywhere.

Groupon describes it as an “attachable hairpiece that lets you have a man bun when you want it and take it off when you don’t.” It’s the white man’s weave.

Confused? Let me break this down for you.

This shit is fake. FAKE

Reasons why you don’t have a man bun

• Girlfriend prefers short hair (unlikely – you’ve seen her drool over man-bun-wearing passers-by)
• Potential employer won’t hire you – man buns don’t exactly say: “Shove me in a tiny cubicle and show me where the paper jam lubricant is.”
• Current employer will hit you with a pink slip – unless you’re a Starbucks barista or a summer camp counselor – they love that shit
• Your locks aren’t man bun-worthy – when you look in the mirror, you see a mane that just may not ever reach man bun-hood
• You’re afraid of getting mistaken for Jake Gyllenhaal – “Why, yes. I was in Nightcrawler. Taylor Swift? Oh, just a fling.”
• You think getting panties thrown at you might be painful – though pleasing to the eye, panties adorned with metal bedazzlements might hurt if thrown in your general direction
• Your frat brothers will judge you – “Bro, we going to Bio101 or Samurai training? Lmk.”
• Your mother will disown you – “Jesus, Kevin. I’m supposed to expect grandchildren from a boy who spends his time in the scrunchie aisle?”

Problems solved by the clip-on man bun

• All of the above

It allows you to be one with David Beckham, Orlando Bloom, and other A-List celebs who have dabbled in the men’s hair fashion trend, while still giving you the freedom to de-bun when your mom’s in town.

And for a one-time fee of just $65.34, you can get your very own artificial man bun.

I know what you’re thinking. And the answer is: yes. Someone in this world thought a fake 3 x 1 clip on bun was worth over 60 of your hard-earned dollars.

Why? Because someone else in this world is dumb enough to buy one.

So next time you spot a man bun on campus, you might want to give it a little tug before you start drooling.

The Tab asked around to find out what Terps think about the clip-on bun. And judging by their feedback, it looks like you may not ever have to encounter one of these man bun imposters.

Senior, Jake Dohrman, 21

“The only people that are really going to buy this would do it as a joke. No one who seriously wants a man bun would consider this as an option.”

Senior, MitchelL Loyd, 21

“The clip-on seems to take away the coolness factor by taking a shortcut. It’s sort of cheating.

“I’m not a man bun type of guy, but it seems like a large part of the appeal to them is that they’re a commitment. I have male friends that have grown their hair out for a long time to style their hair like that.”

Senior, Steven Klima, 21

“It’s dumb. I don’t really like man buns.”