Thank GOD we now have two-ply toilet paper
Finally some toilet paper that can handle heavy duty
The dreaded one ply toilet paper. It is the horror story students here at Maryland call their reality.
This one-ply toilet paper fiasco has gotten out of hand and needs to be dealt with immediately.
Luckily, with advocacy from the Residential Hall Association, the Residential Facilities have decided to put two-ply toilet paper on trial.
No more painful wipes, or using the whole roll for one sitting. Two-ply is here to save you from your toilet woes.
The university has suppressed its students long enough with their supply of one-ply toilet paper. It is time for a revolution in the wiping of our tush. We deserve fair treatment and that includes our butts.
Freshman, Sam Pinkett, has been an avid supporter of this change since day one.
“Enough is enough! It irritates my butt too much.”
For such a prestigious school, with a high cost in tuition, the decent thing to do is give us two-ply toilet paper. Instead we are stuck with transparent, cardboard like paper. That is just simply not fair.
Giving the students here at Maryland one-ply, degrades and demotes us as lesser people. It’s like saying we prefer to wipe with sandpaper compared to silk.
With the change from one-ply to two-ply toilet paper, the Residential Facilities hopes it will reduce the additional costs, and students hope to reduce the redness of their derriere.
Finally, Maryland has got their shit together with the toilet paper initiative.