The best ways to learn to love yourself

We never think about ourselves as a friend. We tend to look for other people to keep ourselves company, to spend time to get to know ourselves.  Often, we are afraid of being alone, because we confuse that with loneliness.

We are so used to having people around us, that we forgot to take some time and be alone. We live in a society that tells us we shouldn’t be too ‘full of ourselves’ that often times, we just decide to not love things about what makes us, who we are. Sometimes we really do need to love ourselves.

Here are some ways to do that.

Appreciate and acknowledge

It’s time you acknowledge who you are. This seems like a mundane task, and we like to believe that we do it every day, but take some time to look at yourself in the mirror. Not when you are putting on makeup, dressing up, shaving, none of that. Sit down, and look at yourself. Take time to realize that you are present, here, today. Do not focus on the things you’re insecure about, don’t look for flaws. Look into your eyes, and let your mind run through the thoughts that fly in. look at yourself with an empty mind, so you can allow yourself to listen, deprived of any expectations.

Date yourself

This doesn’t mean just treating yourself to that extra dessert you want, and obviously deserve. This is about taking care of yourself. If there is something you don’t like about yourself, try to work on it. Uncomfortable with your weight? Try changing your diet, go to the gym, join a gym class or just make simple lifestyle changes. Do you really want to try that restaurant? Go ahead – you don’t always need someone to accompany you, it’s OK to do things alone sometimes.

Aside from that, take care of how you are physically. Try a new face scrub, or use that new lotion you bought and forgot about. Add some color to yourself, whether that’s nail polish or changing the colors you wear everyday.

Meet your inner self

I know to some, meditation seems impossible. But there is a misconception that you need your mind to be completely silent. Spend time with nature, and let your mind go where it needs to go. Sometimes we try to silence our mind, but let it wander as it needs to, and eventually those racing thoughts will calm down. Give yourself the gift of time, try to slow your mind down, and try to spend time doing things you love, don’t worry about wasting time. No time is wasted if it makes you feel better.

Photo cred: Sahar Awwad

Be the friend you are to others to yourself

Forgive yourself. There isn’t anyone in the world who always says the right thing at the right time, if you did or said something and you’re still holding on to it, try to let go. Don’t hold onto silly things, who cares if you did something super awkward in front of everyone in the dining hall? You are your own biggest critic. Sometimes, give yourself a break and try to shake it off. This will help you improve that voice inside your head, and change their perspective too. Help yourself discard that inner negative filter.

Be clutter free

Organize your dorm/room. Sometimes we let our spaces get out of hand, and clearing that up helps clear your mind and takes one more task off your shoulders.

And the award goes to… !

If you’ve had a significant accomplishment, go out and celebrate! Or stay in and celebrate. However, you celebrate, make sure you congratulate yourself. You should learn how to be your own cheerleader. Motive yourself, and keep yourself going, get the voice inside your head to cheer for you instead of bring you down. Love your work, no matter what. Your art/work is something you’ve created – it has a part of you in it. So love it. If you want you can try to repeat some positive affirmations.

You are a work in progress, a piece of art, perfection is what you deem to be perfect. Everything takes time, be patient. You are worth loving, you are who you want to be. Be the best version of yourself.