I’m so proud to have a sibling in the military

This is easily one of the most difficult pieces I have ever written. Having a sibling, or someone else close to you in the military, is a whirlwind of emotions. My older brother, Nolan, is in the Army, and I have a few close friends in the military as well. I split my time feeling incredibly proud of him, pissed at him for endangering himself, and anxious because I can’t do anything to help him if he ever gets into trouble.

Here are some things I’ve learned from my experience – to anyone in my shoes, I hope these ring true for you, too.

It takes time to adjust

My brother initially wanted to join the Army when he finished high school, but he ultimately decided to go to college and wrestle. He finally decided to enlist when he was 25, and it was a huge adjustment. When he left for boot camp, we had to get used to writing letters instead of texting. We also rarely had the opportunity to hear his voice. He was only able to call a few times over the summer, and he called my mom because the majority of my family was always with her.

While my dad and brother are almost always with my mom and therefore got to speak to Nolan often, my sister and I lived in Des Moines and didn’t get that chance. Going three months without seeing or speaking to him was terrible. If you know someone who recently joined the military and you’re struggling, don’t worry – it gets better immediately after boot camp.

The nerves never really go away

My siblings and I have always been incredibly close, and not being able to physically be there to help Nolan lends itself to a feeling of helplessness. While that feeling sucks, that also gets better with time. The letters and phone calls from boot camp will come, and when boot camp graduation comes, phone privileges are back and you can talk to your sibling or close friend as often as you want.

The extra training and thought of deployment is also scary and brings back some of the helplessness. My brother is about to go to Army Ranger training – one of the most difficult trainings the Army offers. The knowledge that my family and I cannot be there to help him through the mental and physical hell he’s about to go through sucks. But I know he can do it, and my anxiety doesn’t matter in the grand scheme of things – I believe in him and that’s all that matters.

Real life military homecomings are better than the YouTube videos

My brother lied to my parents and told them he couldn’t come home for Thanksgiving, but told them he would be home for Christmas. Not long after that, he informed my sister, younger brother and I that he was coming home, but was going to surprise them. The only people who knew were my siblings and I, my sister’s husband, my friends and my younger brother’s girlfriend.

Thanksgiving morning dawned and Nolan, who had been driving all night from his base in Kentucky, had stopped to sleep for a few hours before coming home. We ate lunch and my sister and I were playing with her kids when he called me. We ushered everyone into the kitchen, telling my parents, aunt, uncle and grandma that it was time for pie. I was looking down the street when my brother pulled up. He grinned up at the window and then ran around back to the door. My mom, who was washing dishes when he walked in, started bawling and everyone else started yelling in joy. I sincerely hope that all of you get to experience that feeling at some point.

Nothing can top the incredible pride you feel

No matter how difficult it may be to have someone close to you in the military, the pride you feel is stronger than all of the bad things. Knowing they are risking their life and putting themselves through hellish training just to serve their country is amazing. My older brother is one of the most protective people I know. He would do anything he could to protect the people he cares about, and knowing he is doing the same thing for our entire country makes my family and I incredibly proud. No matter how anxious his job makes us, nothing changes the fact that we are – and always will be – proud of him.

Writing this was my grand gesture to wish my big brother good luck at Army Ranger school starting next week. Kick some ass, Nolie, and we’ll see you in July for some quality family time!