Our landlord moved our fridge outside and the good people of Iowa City stole all our food
If you’re out there…we will find you
You've never known true betrayal until you've had food stolen from you. That's exactly what happened to my roommates and I at our house over on good old Iowa Avenue, and now I have no faith left in humanity.
With Iowa City move-ins still fresh, your landlords may still be stopping by periodically to fix broken toilets, replace lightbulbs and so on. For my five other roommates and I, this came in the form of retiling our kitchen and bathroom during the first week of classes. How convenient.
Naturally, we were prepped for the school year, finally settled in and ready to kick some ass. Our kitchen was ready for skipped breakfasts and late night stress-eating, packed with freshly bought groceries. Our landlord suggested we move our refrigerator to the porch where it could remain plugged in so our food could stay cold.
Little did we know how much of a bad move that would be.
At around 12:20 a.m. last night, I was disturbed from a peaceful night of Netflixing to shouts from my roommates coming from the porch. I headed downstairs to find nothing but mayhem.
"Dude, our fridge just got robbed."
What the actual fuck.
Our poor defenseless refrigerator had been emptied of nearly ALL our new groceries by a couple of douchey college dudes.
One of my roommates encountered a guy snatching armfuls of food from our fridge in the darkness of our front porch on her way home from work. The guy, upon seeing my roommate, ran from the porch onto the street where a getaway car was waiting. The car full of jerks pulled out onto Iowa Ave. and made their escape, leaving us confused, pissed and hungry.
RIP our frozen pizzas, lunch meat and bacon. I hate everything.
"I hope they had a starving family to feed," said roommate Kennedy Novy, "Because our drunk pizzas were sacrificed."
The first week of classes isn't even over and you people are already out to get each other. Take my advice and keep your food locked up under heavy security, Hawkeyes.
No-one's refrigerator is safe.