Things a Kappa Kappa Gamma will never tell you

You would always rather be at Koachella

Considering that Kappas are known to be the perfect mix of Klassy and Krazy, Koachella was a perfect bid day theme for 2015. The end to a two long week process of recruitment concluded with a new pledge class sprinting down Washington Street. They were greeted by a group of girls wearing a hippy get-up, chanting “kappa kappa kappa kappa gamma”.

Bid day was a sweaty mess of pictures, presents and older Kappa members screaming about “how awesome the new pledge class is.”

Kappa Koachella brought a bunch of new big-ten freshmen into a small family of sisters. Koachella gave us a dance party, instant friends, and no voice in the morning. There is no better place for a Kappa Than Koachella.

‘Kev Cab!’ automatically likes you

Kevan Allison, the life-saver of many girls in Iowa City, is our favorite. Whether he is driving the freshmen back to their homes from the Kappa house, or taking us into downtown Iowa City to watch the football game, “Kev Cab” knows us all.

Beginner experiences with Kev Cab often result in a four-year friendship. “Kev Cab virgins” generally receive a warm welcome from Kev when he finds out you’re a Kappa. For better or for worse, Kev is always around to give a lift to a Kappa! 

You go to Cabo for basically free

Before big events or just because YOLO, getting that pasty skin painted orange gives any girl a slight confidence boost, so why not have it done by the people closest to you: sisters! Taylor Renshaw has no problem getting behind the spray machine and posing Kappas to get a nice even glow (or at least we hope it’s even).

We go all natural but only to get an unnatural tan. Of course, there are multiple steps to a spray tan. If you have gotten one before, you would know it can sometimes get ugly. Renshaw says from experience of sisters trying to return the favor, it doesn’t usually go well. Splotchy, orange, or for Jamie Walsh, a huge tan line from her strapless bra running right through her backless dress for semi-formal.

We have a spray tan pro in the house for whenever we’re feeling ghosty, or Renshaw says she could even spray on a six pack if you’re ever feeling that freshman 15 coming on.

Chefs are family

Chef Will and Marie do not only make the best food, but are also some of the best people. Formal dinners are nothing without apple smoked ham and amazing mashed potatoes (because we all know Kappas love their food). If you’re lucky, you should be gaining a freshman, sophomore, and junior 15! Of course there is always “The Key” were there is a stash of all sorts of munchies.

However, there is nothing like being able to have a home-cooked meal (or better) for lunch and dinner. Of course, Friday brunch is a savior in the morning after a long hard week of school. Chef Will knows you by name and it surely warms their heart to see us sit in our chairs and devour the food they prepared for us. Let me make it clear that it is never an issue for us to lick our plates clean.

So here’s a significant and special shout-out to the most important people of the Kappa house, thanks chefs!

Food is life

Now, Chef Will and Chef Marie still need the proper supplies to feed us food-obsessed Kappas, so naturally we would have the largest food budget on campus. From avocados and hot sauce to ordering in Buffalo Wild Wings for everyone on Sunday nights before chapter, Kappas live for their food.

Most of us schedule our day around when and where we want to eat, because eating is the most important and favorite part of our days. It all starts in the morning, either Friday brunch or munching on a bagel from downstairs. Then proceeds to lunch and dinner made by the wonderful chefs and ends with sneaking into the key during study hours just for that last satisfying snack. Of course, this doesn’t ever stop the after midnight orders from Gumby’s for some pokey sticks.

The food budget is necessary because none of it is going to waste, and without it you will experience some hangry Kappa Kappa Gamma girls.

 

You can usually hear us before you see us

A typical KKG girl is loud enough alone. We are the ones you can hear singing over the speakers. We are the ones who people have to constantly remind us that we’re yelling when everyone is right next to us. We don’t know how to whisper. We don’t know how to talk to each other without yelling over each other’s every word, and generally when two or more of us begin to sing, it sounds more like a chorus.

We might as well be the speakers sometimes because nobody else can hear the music half the time anyway. Our chapter meetings sound like a herd of elephants until someone in the front takes their regular speaking voice (which is already too loud) and bellows at everyone to shut up, which sometimes works and other times doesn’t. Our voices are known more than our appearance because you really do hear us before you see us.

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We have many places we like to call home. Koachella, In the back of Kev Cab, wherever food might be available… but the Kappa Kastle carries on the memories of the original Kappas all the way to my 2015 pledge class.

Girls lounging in the Hub, overflowing with Kappa clothes and echoing laughs. Kastle gathers girls for the annual pledge class sleepover filled with movies, food and never have I ever; spilling the deepest darkest secrets we all have. 728: the home of Sheryl (our house mom), the Snapchat wall, and a group of the loudest, goofiest girls you will meet. Girls who will never struggle putting a smile on your face.