How to kill time at Rose Well House before your midnight kiss

Having trouble making plans for Valentine’s Night with your special someone? Why not go ahead and lock down the rest of your life with them?

IU offers a unique resource for promising couples a codependent, lifelong commitment without either party needing to endure the social risk of actually proposing — Rose Well House. It’s that stone gazebo across from Maxwell Hall.

IU’s very own luh-uh-uh-ve shack

The curse  legend is that if you kiss your sweetie under this gazebo at midnight, the two of you will tie the knot and spend forever together.

What your tuition fees are really going toward

However, as the gazebo does not take reservations, you may find yourself “sharing the space” with some other couples who are also looking to “get committed.” It could be a little awk when you all realize that you are ultimately joined in this tiny outdoor hut for what will now be a synchronized make out sesh. So, here are some suggestions for alleviating that social anxiety until midnight.

Note: Sort of a one-time date idea, so choose your partner wisely. If they’re just so-so and maybe not in it for the long haul, there’s always Ruby Tuesday.

Reenact the ‘Sixteen Going on Seventeen’ scene from The Sound of Music.

An easy and fun performance opportunity for both you and your partner. In this scene, a young couple expresses their scandalous love by leaping from bench to bench under a gazebo. Practice the duet ahead of time, and do squats for leap endurance. The other couples will either love it or leave out of sheer discomfort. Either way, you two are the winners.

Counsel the other couples present

Speak with them about the huge decision they are about make. Ask each couple to define, in their own words, what the terms “forever” and “eternity” mean to them. Suggest partners compare 10 year plans with each other. Subliminally convey divorce rate statistics.

Pretend to take turns drinking out of the non-functional water fountain

Is that a hint of green I see?

Make use of this out-of-place appliance that was previously just an obstacle to your Sound of Music performance (see activity suggestion #1). Nothing gives one a sense of purpose like waiting in line at the water fountain. Feign long, exaggerated gulps, and make a point to occasionally say things out loud like, “Man, I must have been parched” or “What a beautiful night for hydration.” Whatever you want. Just act natural.

Flirt with the other people there

 These are your very last moments not being locked to another person via superstitious beliefs. Use this time wisely. Flirt wildly with the other couples there. Use all of the techniques in the book. Tell them they have really white teeth and “good energy.”

Tic-Tac-Toe

Portable. Easy. Fun. Arousing.

What are you waiting for? Check out this venue this Valentine’s Day and get to smooching!