My encounters with sexualization after one semester at IU

Have you ever been so hungry that when you see something edible, you just stop and stare. Now imagine if that thing you were drooling over had feelings.

Being a freshman has been an exciting experience so far. Living away from home, probably for the first time in your life, you’re given so much more freedom.  Indiana University in particular is very well known for its parties. This past Welcome Week was my first look at college parties. For me, it was my first real look at how male and female students see each other.

These are a single semester’s worth of observations of the way college women are sexualized.

Aggressive dance etiquette (or lack thereof)

The first party I went to was at an off-campus fraternity. It was a fairly big party, but in a much smaller house than the on-campus fraternities’ mansions. In a dark basement decked out with a DJ, neon strobe lights and several murals of the frat’s abbreviated Greek name, I had my first experience with the over sexualization of girls in college.

Within about 20 minutes of being at this party, I was handed about 10 shots of who knows what (Peach Taaka most likely). I admit I took them willingly, was feeling pretty good then headed to the dance floor with my roommate.

We danced for about two minutes before being approached by guys and asked to dance. Well, we weren’t really asked. They just came up and started dancing on us. Not with us. On us.

Being the naive freshmen we were, we accepted after exchanging cautious glances. We danced for a few minutes before the guy I was dancing with forcibly turned me around and tried to shove his tongue down my throat.

I didn’t even know his first name. I rejected him and was apparently supposed to be offended when he stormed off just to grab some other girl and do the same thing to her.

It didnt stop there. While on the dance floor I had my ass grabbed at least five times by random guys just passing by. I was floored by the fact that college guys felt entitled to do whatever they wanted to a girl. Just because I come to your party does not mean I automatically want to sleep with you.

All in all, it was an interesting first night of college partying in which I began to understand what it feels like to be so over-sexualized.

The rating scale that assigns a number to you

From my experience, some straight male college students have no limits when it comes to over sexualizing female students. From honking/ yelling at girls walking down the street on the way to parties to having a complex scale to rate girls, such male students do not really understand the impact such treatment affects not only self-esteem and self-image of young adult girls, but also the way that girls view each other.

For instance, if a guy rates a girl a nine on a one to 10 scale, other girls tend to become jealous of her because she is getting more positive attention from guys than they are and take it out on the girl.

This specific scale that guys have to rate girls just adds on to the idea that guys treat girls like they are pieces of meat. Just as butchers look for the nicest cut of meat, many guys look for the hottest piece of ass they can find.

Similarly, there is this so-called educational video explaining the hotness/craziness scale. Clearly Mr. James Yeager is the expert on what makes a woman “wife material” because it all comes down to the ratio between hotness and craziness of the girl. It’s basically a guide to assigning numbers to oversimplify a living person.

The Tinder generation emphasizes looks

According to a 2013 study from the Pew Research Center, 59% of Americans view online dating as a completely normal way to get into the dating scene. I’m pretty sure that number has increased because as of November 2015, there were an estimated 50 million people using Tinder. The stigma surrounding online dating has disappeared in a sense as a majority of our lives are spent online. However, this massive online presence does not help with the over-sexualization issue.

The main issue with apps like Tinder is that you decide whether or not to match with someone based almost completely on appearance alone. Sure, you get 500 characters to flesh out your bio, but I don’t think that can really explain who someone is.

I’ll definitely admit that I’ve dabbled in the online dating scene. From what I’ve seen, all I could really say was, “ehh.” If you want to talk to guys that are literally only interested in getting in your pants, then things like Tinder are perfect for you, but if you’re looking for something more, I’d suggest trying to meet someone naturally.

If you want an idea of some of the crazy things guys say to girls on Tinder, check out the Instagram account, @tindernightmares. It’s one of my favorites. Here’s an example.

‘Netflix and chill’ and other fronts

Of course, I’m not saying that every single guy you’ll meet in college will try to sleep with you, but from my experience, even guys that I become completely platonic friends with have tried to make moves.

From false pretenses of “studying” or the classic “Netflix and chill” that has become so widely known, guys become so desperate to hookup with girls that just hanging out barely even exists any more. It seems people think it is unheard of for a guy and a girl to simply be just friends and nothing more.

College sites using women’s bodies

If you’re on the collegiate side of the Internet at all, you’re familiar with “I’m Shmacked” or “Total Frat Move.” While “I’m Shmacked” may take a new perspective on college, head over to their Instagram account and you’ll see girls from various schools posing half naked in order to get recognition.

“Total Frat Move” is another site which reports on colleges across the U.S. It does have some interesting articles, but a majority of their social media presence — again, Instagram in particular —shows college girls in very little clothing, just as the “I’m Shmacked” account does. There is even a special @tfmgirls account dedicated purely to showing “hot” girls from different schools.

The problem with sites like these is that they lay out unrealistic expectations for both girls and guys. Girls think that they have to look like the girls on those pages to be considered attractive and guys expect girls to look like that. This contributes drastically to over sexualization online. The posts get thousands of likes then make it to the explore page on Instagram, spreading the unrealistic images even further.

The list goes on and on. It is somewhat understandable why the over-sexualization of women happens on such a large scale on college campuses. With thousands of young adults with high sex drives being surrounded by so many other young adults with high sex drives, it’s bound to happen. Yet, over-sexualization doesn’t end after college. Us women will have to be prepared for a lifetime of judgement from men based on how much cleavage we decide to put on display. Sounds fun, huh?