Over $25,000 worth of laptops were stolen at Harvard last semester
CSI: Harvard Edition
Harvard is known for a lot of things: brick buildings, producing presidents, and having weird, elite versions of fraternities. However, one look at HUPD’s public police log shows one more thing Harvard should be infamous for: crime.
That’s right. These 5000 acres are a breeding ground for misdemeanors and felonies. OK, maybe not so much the felonies. But there’s definitely a lot of misdemeanors.
Over $25,550 worth of laptops, tablets and iPhones were stolen between November 1 and the end of the semester.
The total amount of cash stolen over the same 60 day period reached a staggering $2,827 – with one single case reported of $1,700 robbed.
The most expensive items stolen in one go were twelve pairs of Nike cleats, valued at $3,300.
Bicycles were also a hot target as $5,400 worth were stolen over the semester.
The least expensive item thieved was $24 in cash and a can of peanuts from Widener Library. An officer was dispatched to take a report.
While eight calls were made to the undergraduate part of campus for suspected marijuana use, the only confirmation comes from North Hall. Otherwise known as part of Harvard Law School. They can study the law, but they can’t follow it.
There are also many disturbances on campus, which may not be surprising, since, even though it’s Harvard, it is still a college campus with young, red-blooded human beings.
There were quite a few protests, disproportionately in front of Mass Hall. I don’t know what’s up with the class of 2019, but they are very socially active.
Noise complaints are naturally also a common occurrence in these reports. The trophy goes to the Owl Club for a record twenty-one complaints, making them the only final club to receive any.
One time, the Fly Club was reported, but it turned out to be the Owl Club.
Other police report highlights include:
- A suspicious package was found: “The officer arrived and the package was deemed safe as it was just papers.” Anyone who thinks all papers are safe has not seen last term’s transcript and how my mom reacted to it.
- A combined total of $4,304 worth of coats was stolen.
- Once at 1:55am, there was a report of a person “trying to take down a fence.” Whether this person was uprooting it from the grass or fighting it in a duel, we will never know.
- HUPD will take care of “annoying” phone calls and emails for you.
While crime is not a laughing matter, we can all at least learn one lesson from these reports: don’t leave your $2000 Macbook lying around. It will be stolen.