What it’s really like to comp The Harvard Lampoon

Aside from drawing in big name guests like Jimmy Fallon and having a sweet castle, the Harvard Lampoon is famous for a devious comping process.

It’s shrouded in mystery – but we found three shaken freshmen who lived through comping to tell the tale.

This is their story from inside the castle. Out of mortal fear for their lives, we’re going to call them Danny, Alexander and Jacob.

Why did you decide to comp the Lampoon? 
Daniel: So I guess Jacob and Alexander were a little more interested than me but I wanted to see what it was like, I wanted to go inside of the Lampoon because it’s a weird creepy building.

Alexander: I had thought about doing it before coming to Harvard, so when the opportunity came up to comp, I thought “why not?”

Jacob: I mean I’ve been into comedic writing for a while and I know that a lot of people in the Lampoon go on to write for SNL or NBC so I thought it would be a good club to join.

When did you comp?
Daniel: It was a Friday evening in early September, it was supposed to start at 8pm but I they made us wait an extra 15 minutes.

Alexander: Yeah, there were around 20 freshmen outside, and one senior, but when they asked if there were any seniors, a girl raised her hand and they said, “you have to leave, like, right now”.

What was it like inside? 
Alexander: They quietly let us into this small circular room which was surrounded with bookcases and windows, they made us sit on the floor and the members were surrounding us in a circle.

Jacob: Yeah, it was dim, cramped and super hot. Smelt like cigarette smoke actually.

Alexander: The presidents, or comp directors, I mean I don’t know, authority figures, had suits on and they were sitting there smoking in these armchairs. One of them had this albino snake wrapped around his neck and we thought it was fake because it didn’t move but like, halfway through the meeting the head just starting moving.

Jacob: And we were just like what the hell, he was just chilling like it was no big deal to have an albino snake with red eyes around his neck.

What did you do at the meeting?
Jacob: They had everyone write down their name, email address, dorm, room, our SAT scores, and then they had this jar of candy and we had to guess how many pieces were in the jar and Alexander guessed the number exactly.

Alexander: 56. I got a deck of weird Illuminati cards for that, which was kinda cool.

Jacob: They also asked people to tell pranks they had pulled or knew of I guess it’s because it’s a pranking organisation, to see who’s funny. But no one shared any good ones.

Daniel: They also never asked for our name, they were really strict about calling us compers and only ever referred to us as a comper.

Alexander: Like, “comper come here!”

Daniel: Also what did they hit the other dude in the head with?

Jacob: Oh my God, yeah, they asked if anyone knew how to solve a Rubix cube, a few kids raised their hands and they gave them cubes with no colours but people’s faces on them.

Alexander: Profiles, maybe old Lampoon members?

Jacob: Anyway, one of the guys tried to throw a Rubix cube to a comper but hit another kid in the head. They felt bad so they gave him a piece of pie and a cold beer to put on his head.

What happened after the meeting?
Jacob: The comping process isn’t a whole semester. No actually, they just have rounds of cuts. I have a paper which says if you pass the first round there’s an optional cocktail party where you should be prepared to put a lot of olives in your mouth. And if you pass the second round there’s a “more optional, but less optional” cocktail party. Then it says “please do not contact us, think about us or come anywhere near the Castle on Thursdays, unless you’re here to fix the ice machine”.

Alexander: We saw them for office hours though. It’s weird that they have office hours but for the comp you need to submit three of your funniest pieces and during office hours you can get feedback from Lampoon members. I went in thinking they’d be really condescending and not helpful but they were actually really really nice and invested in trying to make your work better.

Daniel: Yeah it seemed that from the meeting it wouldn’t be like that because they were kind of sarcastic.

Alexander: I feel like they definitely have a reputation that they wanna maintain.

Daniel: So they act up a little bit… being all tricky and witty.

What did you think of the whole experience?
Daniel: It was weird as hell. To be honest I was just so focused on the snake after I realised it was actually alive.

Jacob: It was cool. The blond guy, Anthony, or whatever his name was, was really enthusiastic.

Daniel: I thought he was very funny, really sharp.

Jacob: I saw him studying at Lamont, so weird.

Alexander: That must have been so weird cause I feel like after meeting him it’s like he’s above up, like, he’s a legit person taking classes? You go to Harvard?

What would you say to someone that wants to comp the Lampoon in the future?
Jacob: I’d say don’t be afraid to show up office hours because they’re not scary.

Daniel: It would definitely have to be your thing, like satirical comedic writing, I feel like if you’re on the fence you wouldn’t do it.

Alexander: Actually, even if you’re not that interested I think you should go because it’s funny anyway.

Jacob: Yeah I thought it was hilarious, just do it.