We asked a UF professor for dating advice

We sat down with a UF poetry intructor and asked him for dating advice. This is what he said…

He suggests reciting poems, being suave, and demonstrating intrigue. We’re not all poets but his advice is solid.

“If you be yourself, and you like yourself, and you think you’re doing cool things, and you go and meet someone and they see that you’re confident in yourself, and you’re actually passionate about what you’re doing… it’s an attractive feature.”

Noted.

 

Midterms and finals basically demand multiple ‘u up?’ texts attempts. And though ‘u up?’ is fulfilling, so is the quest for young love. So, what better idea than to go to my spunky poetry professor for dating advice. After all, with all these booty calls, I was still coming up short.

 

It was obvious that I needed to reevaluate my approach.

When it comes to things like this, it’s imperative to step outside of yourself, and get a fresh perspective. We all need guidance.

Indeed, Luke didn’t just blow up the death star all by himself – he had Ben Kenobi to instruct him. And so, it seemed it was time for me to find my Ben Kenobi.

I started looking for a good role model, someone who was older then me. We are always taught that old people are supposed to be filed with sagely, worldly advice, but that just didn’t seem true.

Old people don’t understand memes – how are they supposed to understand me?

Eventually I found a good person to get advice from: my poetry workshop professor, who, unlike my other teachers, was young. Additionally, after having class with him all semester, one thing was obvious: he definitely pulled. That being said, I made the best decision of my life and casually slid into his office hours to ask him for some dating advice.

 

And so, here it is, my raw, uncut interview with UF’s very own poetic mystery:

Warming Up

Professor: Soooo, dating advice.

Dennis: Well, yeah. After all it’s very obvious you’re good on the dating scene.

Professor: Is it?

Dennis: Yeah! it’s just uh, something you can tell.

Professor: Well, okay.

Dennis: (nervous laugh)

 

On Conveying Passion

Professor: Sooooooo…reciting poems from memory. It’s not a bad idea.

Dennis: Really? Have you ever done that before?

Professor: No, but I imagine it would be like a pleasant thing, if done in the right moment.

Dennis: Sort of like a private setting?

Professor: Yeah, well the thing is, being legitimately passionate about something, regardless of if it’s impressive or not ,is important, because that passion that you have for something is impressive in itself.

 

On Avoiding ‘What’s your major?’

Dennis: So your advice is to be yourself?

Professor: Be yourself, which is the worst advice, but it is really true. If you be yourself, and you like yourself, and you think you’re doing cool things, and you go and meet someone and they see that you’re confident in yourself, and you’re actually passionate about what you’re doing… it’s an attractive feature. And it’s good to have some things that…you know…excitement is infectious; so when I’m talking about poetry I’m really excited about it. You’re trying to engage the other person and that’s gonna be an engaging conversation instead of something like oh…ya know… ‘what’s your major?’

Dennis: (laughs) ‘What’s your major?’ That’s the worst question.

Professor: It’s not about what your major, it’s… why’d you choose this major…ya know? Like what makes you passionate about your major.

Dennis: Yes! So instead of what’s your major, it’s ‘why’d you choose this major?’

Professor: Or even like less school related and more like why….what are you doing here…I mean like ‘why are you studying this?’

Um, ‘what brought you to engineering’…or art history or whatever. If they’re dedicating 4 year or 4+ years of their lives to this, it’s gotta be something they’re into. If they’re like ‘oh it’ll get me a good job’….well okay then ‘what do you want to do with this good job?’ If they wanna travel, well where do they want to travel to?

You kinda build off of there based on what they are individually passionate about….does that make sense?

Dennis: Yeah.

 

On Timing

Professor: Yeah um, and you can even be like the romantic poets and be like ‘oh I majored in poetry’ and recite something from memory.

Dennis: I’ll have to try it out sometime.

Professor: Of course, it’s all about timing.

Dennis: (laughs)

Professor: It’s not like first time meeting someone and being like ‘hey how’s it going, oh by the way here’s a poem’.

Dennis: (laughs) This probably doesn’t work at the bar scene or the club.

Professor: Yup.

(interview casually ends)

 

Here’s what was gathered from this.

Well there you have it. We really deeply delved into the female psyche with this one.

Definitely a groundbreaking interview, one that will impact impressionable undergraduates for generations to come.

This man is truly a poetic genius, a dating guru if you will.

I have yet to try out his suggested methods, but I can already tell that they will change my game forever.