A guide to surviving tropical storm Hermine
AKA an unhelpful guide from someone as clueless about safety as you
After recent warnings about the possibility of Alachua County being affected by tropical storm Hermine, the realization set in on how little college students know how to prepare themselves for extreme weather without the aid of their parents by their side. Who is going to make sure we take every precaution to keep ourselves safe without our mom and dad reminding us to close all the windows and not curl up into a ball in fear?
To help those who are in similar confused and terrified states, here is a guide that will show you exactly what [not] to do to prepare with just a couple hints of what you should actually do.
Wonder why they didn’t name the tropical storm Hermione
They were just so close to naming it after the Harry Potter heroine. What stopped them? Maybe get a little worked up about this close-but-no-cigar naming that you spend the rest of your day watching the Harry Potter series and the next day rereading the books. So what if you didn’t restock on food and a first aid kit for the upcoming days? You were able to reacquaint yourself with your favorite fictional buddies.
Party because class has been canceled
RTS to the rescue
Go outside without an umbrella or rain boots and buy some beer and tequila (totally mix those drinks tonight) and have an outdoor party to celebrate. Blow off all the time you have to get homework done and prepare your home and maybe take a couple hours to praise the storm on every social media platform you have. No need to keep an eye out for when the buses stop during sustained wind of 35 mph or realize that SNAP is no longer operating Thursday and may not operate Friday depending on the weather. Instead of reading the constant UF email updates on the storm and listening to the helpful advice it gives, partying is the way to go.
Justify your second nap of the day because of the oncoming storm
Nap time is the best time – thunder and all
Thunder and lightning are the best sedatives, right? Minus the terrifying jolts you feel with every booming sound you hear and blinding light you see that come through your window, of course. Why make sure you have a flashlight with working batteries and check that all your windows are safely sealed when you can sleep the possible flooding away?
Make a cup of tea, sit outside and pretend to be inspired by the rainfall
Safety first!
What better way to enjoy a dangerous storm than sit outside and ponder life? Sip your tea while you think about the potential “isolated tornadoes.” Maybe even fulfill your fantasy of dancing in the rain while the danger of being outside is at its peak. That definitely more fun than buying an umbrella and going outside only when completely necessary.
Stay calm (this one is real)
Bob and I are prepared
Although it’s scary to be in a dorm or an apartment away from home without the maturity and cautiousness of your parents, as long as you [don’t] nap, brush off and riskily dance away this potential tropical storm warning, you’ll be fine. Stock up on food, stay updated on the tracking of the non-Harry Potter tropical storm, tell your loved ones you’re safe, download the UF “Gator Safe” mobile app to stay informed and make sure your home is prepared for a storm. To celebrate once the storm passes, dance when the sun is out and nap once the humidity reminds you why you hate Florida weather.
Stay safe, Gators.