Why I’ve decided not to walk at graduation
The more you tell me I’ll regret it, the more I want to punch you
It’s the time of year when graduation photos are happening all around campus, seniors struggle to care about their last few assignments, and freshmen are constantly crying from experiencing their first spring exam week.
This semester, I happen to be one of those keep-holding-on-you’re-almost-there seniors with a few slight differences: You will not see me having senior photo shoots in front of the stadium, rushing to complete all of my UF traditions to get a specific chord for graduation, and, most prominently, I will not be walking at graduation.
I will pause for the gasps because apparently this is a very big deal and somehow affects people on a deeply personally level. To everyone who says, “Ohmygod you can’t do that!” “No, you’ll regret it!” and “Whyyy?!? You’ve earned it!” I have one thing to say to you people: I can do whatever the fuck I want. This is not your decision to “literally regret forever” and it is not your life — it’s mine and I say no fucking thanks.
As amazing as it sounds, I’ll pass on sitting with thousands of strangers in a pit of hellish heat that reaches ungodly and despicable temperatures, all while wearing an ugly $50 rented robe that traps in every little bead of sweat that rolls down my back and into my butt crack.
High school graduation was really optimal in every way (unless it rained). Hey, mom!
College graduation is the opposite of high school graduation. In high school, you know practically everybody. You recognize almost all of the teachers, you are friends with at least one of the student speakers, and you can sort of make out your family sitting in the bleachers. You sit among rows of friends, or at least acquaintances, and you feel genuinely excited high school is officially over.
I do not need to walk at graduation in order to acknowledge or feel my undergraduate years have come to a close. Believe me, I know that I am done. I am absolutely positive nothing feels as fulfilling and triggers that sensation of climactic release than walking out of your final exam of the semester or hitting “submit” on your final research paper (English majors, you feel me).
If anything, surviving the graduation ceremony will just feel like dragging it out but in an unnecessary and unpleasant fashion. Plus, you don’t even get your diploma at the ceremony: IT’S FUCKING MAILED TO YOU. How is it supposed to feel official when I don’t have literally the most important paper declaring I actually did all of that work?
My sister, Emma, after her graduation ceremony
Luckily for me, I have understanding parents. I went to my sister’s graduation last December in the O’Dome and though it was indoors and we could point her out it still lasted over three hours. Plus my sister didn’t even have a great time with all the attention. I was with her on her last day of class ever, and let me tell you, she was not anywhere near as happy on graduation day.
After her ceremony, my mom and dad each separately whispered to me, “You know if you don’t want to this, I won’t be upset.” The small party at home with an enormous chocolate cake will satisfy me plenty. My parents didn’t walk at their graduation and they presently live with zero fucks about it.
This can be my graduation picture because I am truly happy in it and wasn’t forced to take it. Also, no pressure to look perfect, amirite?
Personally, not walking does not take away what I have accomplished or how successful I feel as a graduating senior. Nothing can take away all the hours I spent writing papers, studying/napping, and actively attending class.
What means more to me than any pompous ceremony is hearing my parents say they are proud of me. It means so much more on a regular day than hearing it when it’s traditionally expected of them to do so. There is far too much emphasis on taking pictures and following traditions when many people find nothing enhancing about them. Stop with all the pressure. Living requires you to be in the moment so stop trying to bottle it up for later, I beg you. No photograph can perfectly replicate the memory in your mind so don’t risk your chance of missing it actually happen.
I do not need to walk and shake hands with people I do not know, have forced pictures taken of me with my sweaty-might-pass-out glow, and listen to members of our faculty spout essentially the same mindless phrases repeated at every graduation ceremony in order to feel satisfied with my college experience.
If you do, cool, but please leave me out of it. Yes, I am astutely aware, some students have to walk because they are either the first of their family to graduate college, they are first generation American citizens, or their parents just really want to see them in a robe (or in some cases, the students actually want to?). That is perfectly fine. I do not poopoo your decision so please do not crap on mine.
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