Global Vote: The coolest thing since sliced bread
We never have to leave our beds to vote again
Last semester, when it came time to elect new members to Student Government, I was confronted with staggering news: I would have to walk all the way to campus to cast my vote.
At first I didn’t believe it, but it ended up being true. Despite the fact it was 2015 and I was living in a technologically advanced society, I still couldn’t vote using my computer. I had to vote in person, like my ancestors before me.
Me trying to vote online
I knew there had to be an easier way.
And then it began…
I spent a lot of time griping to my roommate, Austin Young, about how the act of walking over to a polling station didn’t really mesh with my lifestyle. The whole time I thought he was just pretending to listen, but next thing I know, he’s telling me I should check out Global Vote, a group that supports online voting. I told him I would look into it.
The enigma of the revolutionary group Global Vote
True to my word, I attended the first Global Vote meeting, only to discover Austin was one of the leaders of the coalition. Considering he was my roommate, I didn’t see why both of us had to go to the meeting. Wouldn’t it be more effective for just one of us to go and relay the information to the one who stayed at home?
I learned at the meeting in order to get an amendment for online voting on the spring ballot, we would have to get 2500 signatures from random kids going to class. It seemed like a daunting task, but everyone was up for the challenge.
Let the petitioning commence
Armed with petitions, clipboards, and a dream to implement a convenient voting apparatus, the loyal members of Global Vote were ready to change the world.
Based on my personal experience, I can tell you petitioning is a grueling process, one that makes you come face to face with the darker side of humanity. People ignored me, dismissed me, and rebuked me. For some strange reason, my fellow students did not like being disturbed on their way to class.
Regardless, Global Vote ended up getting around 3000 signatures before the deadline, which if my math is correct, was 500 more than they needed. I was happy to have gathered around 50 signatures for the cause. Austin told me himself my contribution was invaluable.
Me providing invaluable awareness for the Global Vote cause
After that, I was sort of under the impression everything was over and now there was nothing left to do except wait until election day. However, it turns out I had never been so wrong in my entire life.
The good fight was not over.
The Resistance, yes it’s a thing
The leaders of Global Vote were summoned to a meeting held by the illustrious Elections Committee, which would decide whether or not the amendment would make it to the spring ballot. I attended this meeting, despite the fact I had absolutely no say whatsoever in the decision making process.
This is what happened:
The Committee sat at the front of the room, its five members fresh in crisp dark suits. A small group of Global Vote representatives sat across from them, wearing arguably better suits. Then the debate ensued.
At first, it seemed like my dreams of being able to vote from my bed would never be realized. But, as time wore on, The Committee began to waver.
It appeared Global Vote had taken things farther then they had ever been taken before. They had read the Student Government constitution.
BREAKING: We have a constitution
The same evening, I also learned the constitution was on Global Vote’s side: after the accumulation of 2500+ signatures, an amendment must go to the ballot, no funny business. The Committee had no choice but to put it on the ballot.
The rest is basically history. Everyone voted for online voting because it’s super awesome and allows you to participate in democracy using only your finger.
UF finally joined the postmodern era, and interjected the virtues of convenience and slothfulness into the democratic process. Next Fall, not foreseeing any drastic changes, we will all be able to vote for Student Government using our computers.
God bless the post-modern era.