What it’s like going on Tinder for the first time

Tinder has become a bit of a meme with us all lately. We use the term “swipe right” as a joke and people are evening using it to campaign for presidential candidates. 

He literally created his profile JUST to promote Bernie

But do any of us actually take it seriously? Is it just for the seriously desperate? Or is it a legitimate way of meeting people?  

One night a few months ago, I got bored. It was 1AM and I was sitting on the couch with my roommate, discussing her boyfriend of two years while trying to study. Somehow, we got onto the topic of Tinder while talking about my perpetual loneliness.  I snorted.There was no way I was going on Tinder.

But the more we talked about it, the more we realized just how little we knew about this world of hook ups, swiping, and potential future husbands.

I downloaded the app as both research and as a bit of a joke. I tweeted about it a few times but to be honest, it was insurance.  I didn’t want anyone to see me on the app and think I was “that” kind of girl.  What kind of girl is that? I had no idea but I was not intent on finding out.

The next step is crucial, or so I had heard, choosing your Tinder pictures. I chose two cute selfies to show “hey I’m a cute gal I swear and I shower everyday and do my make up even when I’m not going out and I totally have my crap together.”

Plus one of my best friend and I at the gator game, just so everyone knew “hey I’m a gator girl who totally has more than just one friend and who totally does not get overwhelmed by crowds at football games also I’m so totally cute.”

And last a picture of my dog and I. Priorities.

Then came the little bio. I was at a complete lack of words for the space under “About Aimee” so I opted for “About me? Let’s talk about you (this is me not knowing what to write).”  Honesty is the best policy, right?

Then I went into the wonderful world of shallow profiles. Yes or no, right or left. I tried to keep an open mind with the profiles and talking to people. I found some entertaining individuals like one who thought it was appropriate to ‘super like’ an eighteen year old. But it’s one of my first interactions on Tinder.

I don’t know what to expect so I’m just trying to make conversation. Some guy started commenting on how nice he bet my body was. I continued to drink my McDonald’s sweet tea and potato chips as I examined just how wrong the Freshman Fifteen cliche is. We didn’t speak much after that.

I was getting discouraged from the crazy amount of guys who wanted to ‘Netflix and chill.’ They all need to chill — they could be a serial killer and I’m not into that.

I wanted to give up already but my roommate insisted I may just find the Brad Pitt to my Angelina Jolie. I scrolled through profiles, nearly having a crisis about how shallow and pathetic the world is. And then there it was. The hope for Tinder, a beacon of good things.

Bless you guy who made NotRyan

Tinder is not the fairytale land of Arendelle and there are no Prince Charmings. There is Prince Sleezy and Prince Pedophile and Prince Arrogance.  However, I’m not exactly Cinderella either. Maybe I’d be Princess Skeptical of this App or Princess Eating Nutella Out of A Jar.

You do find some charmers but you end up finding a whole lot of this:

I’ve had Tinder for about a month. I’d like to say I rarely go on it but that’s just not true. Tinder is just like any other social media and there’s something intriguing about getting small glimpses into who people are.

So is there any value in Tinder? Will it be love at first swipe? Or will it just end horribly?

If you’re looking for a laugh, I’d say go ahead and get Tinder. If you’re looking for a way to question humanity just a tad, download Tinder. If you’re looking to meet new people, sign up for Tinder.

Who knows? Maybe you’ll find the Albert to your Alberta.