My best friend’s heroin addiction made both of us stronger

Addiction isn’t about using drugs, it’s about what the drug does to your life.

Loving somebody who struggles day by day to fight an urge that completely consumes them is one of the most difficult things I ever experienced. Reality doesn’t strike until you start to see how unrecognizable the person you once loved dissolves to a stranger you never knew.

A very close friend of mine, Stephanie, who’s now 20, started experimenting with drugs at 17. She was always in her own world—open minded, charismatic, spontaneous, beautiful, and had her entire life ahead of her. She always had a passion for art and beauty, with an imagination so vivid her paintings expressed emotional freedom. She attended one of the best art schools in the nation and had striking dreams of becoming an artist.

But, her addiction overpowered her passion.

Stephanie first shot up a dose of heroin back in 2012. “I knew in that moment it was what I was looking for. It filled my emptiness. Heroin gives you the feeling of okay – that everything is gonna be okay even when things are in shambles. It numbed me.”

Upon an unfortunate series of events she lost herself in the chaotic rollercoaster that almost cost her life. And I had no power in her addiction. She overdosed more than ten times yet still walked around with the pain of being sick.

“I was doing anything for another bag. Robbing, manipulating, and stealing became my middle name.”

Watching my friend fall into such a dark place with nowhere to run scared me to death. The loss of touch to reality was vanishing but worst of all the loss of my friend withered away. I tried my hardest to be there for her but I knew there was only so much I could do. I was completely incapable of saving someone who had no desire to change. If I had the power to heal all the misfortunes that floundered her way, I undoubtedly would.

But, addiction is in the control of the beholder.

“Wanting a different life for myself but not pursuing it has always been the hardest thing when it came to finding heroin. I’ve done all the other drugs and partied harder than anyone I knew.

“The things I did to get it and the person I became to get high everyday would be the death of me.”

Change is possible for anyone who wants it bad enough, I would know.  I constantly reminded her of who she was and to never forget how much control she had of her life. I know deep inside if you collide your heart and soul it will allow yourself to be free from anything.

I remember late night tones of terror in her voice.

“Even though I wasn’t dead I might as well have been, walking around sick as a dog. Chasing that bag just to feel at ease was the needless rollercoaster of doom I shortly found myself in.”

Through this journey I have learned you should never give up on the people you love regardless of the difficulties they may be facing. Being there for someone who feels alone in the world can remind them they are loved even at their worst.

The late night phone calls would shred me to pieces every time I would hear the sound of fear and terror in her voice. There were numerous times I wanted to distance myself away because I was afraid.

“Heroin became me, I became it. I was a slave to that devious devil. I soon became its play toy and the temptations became all of my choices.”

Looking back now I am so happy I never did because the thought of losing my best friend would destroy me. Stephanie dug herself out of this black hole.

I got my friend back and she’s doing better than ever before. She smiles, paints, and works her butt off. She is radiant. I can finally feel the energy of the person I always grew to love. There is love in her eyes and stars in her skies.

Although she still fights the urge, she believed in herself when nobody else did and I don’t think there’s anything more beautiful in the world. I smile everyday knowing she’s okay.

You are the light that never goes out. The strongest person I’ve ever known. You are my lotus flower.