Why I’m proud to be from Caracas
Tequeños are NOT cheese sticks
Being brought up in Caracas is quite the unique experience and makes for a good eye-widening story to tell your American friends. My hometown has been named the second most violent city in the world and it’s the capital of the country with the highest inflation rate and one of the worst economies.
Quite frankly, it just makes you a complete badass. So, if this list makes you feel some type of way, congratulations, you were born in the greatest city in the world.
El Ávila
Try not getting distracted doing PE with this view
This mountain is seen from any point in the city. Although Caracas is a valley, meaning it is surrounded by mountains, this one has a special meaning to every resident.
The national park protects us form hurricanes and has the best hiking trails. If you are not the athletic type, you can take the “teleférico” (cable car) to the top and enjoy the best strawberries and cream after a fun afternoon in the skating rink.You can’t tell if el Ávila is always on fire is more representative than the cross that lights the summit up at night.
If you didn’t go there for multiple field trips, then stop reading this, you’re not from Caracas.
You’ve always got a ride
There is no such thing as the “sorry, it is out of my way” excuse. Gas is cheaper than water here in Caracas, and no one will pass up the chance to have an extra hour of gossiping. No one will ever leave you stranded, and you will never doubt calling your parents at any time of the night to take you home.
Try going to a college in the United States and have your friends be stingy about giving you a ride because they are afraid of losing their parking spot. Talk about a culture shock.
Sin tetas no hay paraíso
For those who don’t know Spanish this literally translates into “without boobs there is no paradise.”
In Caracas, if you have not been blessed with a nice set of bosoms, don’t try and get comfortable with the way you look, just get some silicone in there. If you wonder how clothes will fit you once you get that coveted enhancement, no need to fret, mannequins are made to represent the ideal Caraqueña. This is so common, natural boobs seem to be the unusual and more shocking thing around here.
*Disclaimer: I totally disagree with this BS… Love yourself and embrace what you’ve got, girl.*
Hangover = Arepas -> Arepas = any meal of the day
This North Carolina boy gives it his approval
By the time you are done dancing all night, and by dancing I don’t mean that robotic penguin crap you see at homecoming or the club, it is between 5 and 6 AM. This means it is time to make your way to the corner arepera.
Here, they will fill that heavenly carb-y goodness with carne mechada, queso guayanés, caraotas or whatever your drunk heart desires. You can accompany this with a nice and cold Maltín Polar… or another beer.
This Venezuelan version of a sandwich can be eaten as breakfast, lunch, dinner or snack; and is bound to impress the Gringos that have been missing out.
Toilet paper is a delicacy
‘Dear clients, due to lack of local supply of toilet paper, we cannot offer this service in our restrooms.’ LOL
Along with toothpaste, soap, rice, chicken, eggs, milk or any essential item. It takes the average person seven five-hour trips to different supermarkets to find at least one of these items. As soon as you find a single of these, you stock up.
You are bound to buy an apocalyptic amount of toilet paper due to the fear of running out and being unable to acquire more. You also carry your own roll or a pack of tissue paper in your purse since there is nothing to wipe your hiney with in a public bathroom.
You are related
Okay, only one of these girls is my cousin, but I think going to school together from K-12 also counts as being relatives
You went to school with his sister. Your mom knows their aunt. Your grandma knows their grandpa’s cousin. Somehow, it seems that in this city, although populated by millions, everyone is related. If you can go ANYWHERE without having a 30-minute-long-minimum conversation with a long-lost relative, then you’re not in Caracas. I promise you, you know each other. This serves wonders when you are abroad and find some kind of connection with a random Venezuelan — you become instant besties.
Fear is a permanent state of being
Your heart drops at the sound of a motorcycle, you have three alternative routes to go home, and you know at least one person that has been kidnapped. If you have ever lived in Caracas, you do not know what it is to leave your car or house unlocked; and you have never gotten to a place without texting your parents.
However, it seems the ones who have lived here the longest have gotten used to it, and these things have become instinctual. Welcome to the land of express kidnappings, where you most likely know the other person in the car who is also getting kidnapped (refer to my previous point).
You still have hope
Although this city might be suffering along with the rest of the country, the citizens of Venezuela continue to rely on their humor and optimism to fight the current corruption, scarcity and insecurity. The peaceful demonstrations, “marchas,” that often take place in protest of the current situation are still characterized by their party-like atmosphere (until teargas and shots are fired). We have the most dedicated human beings fighting for the future of this country, and the biggest voice comes from college students. We are ready for change.
Whether you still live here, or you’ve had to leave in search for a better life and greater opportunities, Caracas will always be your home. A piece of your heart will forever reside in this city populated by lively people, rich culture and mouth-watering food.
If you are a Venezuelan college student abroad right now, don’t rule out a future return. The country is depending on us to bring our acquired knowledge and experience to help rebuild the nation our parents knew and loved.
TE AMAMOS VENEZUELA