What it’s like being introverted at a party school

First off I am here to say you are not alone, my fellow loners.

UF football games, parties, and even casual gatherings are things that an introvert like myself will not be found at. Being the extremely social campus that UF is, the shift to constantly feel like I need to get out there, make friends, and find my unique, like-minded group has come to a stressful peak.

To the social bees who find themselves in cliques immediately after their first week of college, how do you do it? How do you do that thing called “being social?”

When people ask me why I have never gone to a UF football game

Contrary to popular belief, introverted individuals can actually be social, but getting to that point of comfort is the difficult part. The exhaustion of putting yourself out there is enough to keep introverts from coming out of their shell for just anyone who looks approachable.

Small talk, the worst combination of words that has ever been created, is unfortunately the key to establishing new friendships. That inability to make it past this seemingly minuscule stepping stone has caused a great deal of potential relationships to fall into the memory box of “damn that could have been cool if it happened.”

Even when asked to get into groups during class, I automatically switch to panic mode. As my heart paces a hundred beats per second, I anxiously look around and hope that there is another poor soul dripping with the sweat of social anxiety that can sit in silence with me.

I love group projects…

What is worse than the search for group partners is actually finding really cool people to partner with, but then worry if the coolness is only for the zone of the classroom. Once the semester is over, will we still be friends? Can I text them to hang out when we are not in class? Oh no, that thought is too terrifying to think through entirely.

Once I see these former classmates, I have a continuous debate in my head.

“Should I wave and ask how they are doing? Or should I pretend that I am a tree so they don’t see me? Oh god, they are looking over, just dig through your purse for something until they are gone.”

Almost everyday in the elevator when I see the same people from past classes, I always manage to refresh Twitter for the twentieth in a matter of five minutes when eye contact seems imminent. The staring-at-your-phone approach to keep from conversation or even to hide the fact that you are alone in a big crowd always succeeds.

Does my phone count as my friend?

Now don’t get me wrong, being an introvert, as anxiety-riddled as it sounds from my past experiences, is not all bad. I love time alone. Getting lost in my own thoughts is my favorite hobby. There is so much going on in my head that I, more often than not, forget there is so much more going on around me. This campus is so lively and buzzing day and night, and here I am, sitting around having conversations with myself. By the time my peers make it back to their dorms from clubbing, I have debated solutions for global warming and mass adoptions of abandoned puppies.

Still, I would love to be a part of the insane amount of amazing experiences UF has to offer with the many great students the school boasts, but I just do not know how to get there.

From what I have learned from my extremely difficult time in engaging in social encounters and events is that it is okay to be patient and take time until you are ready to get out there. It is okay that talking to others seems like a hassle at first. And it is most definitely okay that your peers are living it up while you’re at home watching Netflix.

Rushing yourself into making friends, starting relationships, and throwing yourself into countless clubs can take a huge toll on the mind of someone who is accustomed to solitude. Giving yourself time to adjust to the lifestyle of a social campus without judgment that you are slightly socially inept is the best advice an introvert can give to a fellow introvert, or really anyone who is finding it hard to make connections on this crazy campus.

We are told to go out and make friends and we should, but appreciating time for yourself and your vibrant thoughts as well as being patient with your slow progress on the social scale should be seen in a positive light. Being social and outgoing isn’t everything. Accepting yourself and your own ways of learning the ropes of UF and its social norms is everything.