How to survive as an English major in a Bio major’s body

Physics is bullshit.

No offense to the many physics majors out there- I thoroughly admire you all. It is an incredibly difficult subject to master and, as I am barely surviving Physics I at this point, I am so in awe of you all and the fact that you can do the stuff I’m struggling to do in your sleep while tutoring and office hours and homework is still not enough help me to learn it.

The point is, I really don’t understand why I have to. I mean, yes, I understand that it is and has been required for all pre-med (or, in my case, pre-vet) students for an incredibly long time. And my professor, bless his soul, attempts to explain to us on a daily basis that physics is useful for this-and-that reason and that it will, in fact, be useful in our future medical careers so don’t give up. But I’m not buying it.

At least not the fact that 1. I will ever need calculus-based physics in my career, 2. The amount of physics I will need could not be taught to me in a much shorter and less painful amount of time and 3. I will need, for any reason, Physics II.

I think that, as pre-medical students, we are so set on our paths to becoming whatever type of doctor it is we dream of being, whether a human doctor or an animal doctor or a dentist or an orthodontist. We pre-medical/pre-veterinary/pre-dental students are determined and competitive and driven. We want it, and we are willing to do whatever it takes to get there.

But why does what it takes to get there make me want to punch myself in the face on a daily basis? Why am I taking classes that are not only insufferable but also most likely useless to me in my actual profession? I took Calculus I and Biostatistics because most veterinary schools in the US require them.

But, two summers ago, I shadowed a veterinary student at Tufts and she told me very straightforwardly that the most math she’s ever needed to know is how to convert grams to kilograms. She then proceeded to tell me that she usually just uses her phone to do this.

ARE YOU KIDDING PRE-MED. Why? Why did I need to know how to calculate a 95 percent confidence interval for the mean change in susceptibility to heart attack given a patient’s age? WHY.

Well, I guess because all the graduate schools I’m interested in applying to told me to. And they told the rest of you to, as well, so you did it. We all did it. We suffered through it, and came out on the other side (pretty much) in one piece. But that doesn’t mean I’m not still bitter for having to do it.

But, in an ever-more-challenging attempt to keep my head up, I am constantly reminding myself that it’s fine because at least we’re all in this together (thank you Troy Bolton for the constant support and encouragement). We’re all just trying to run this gauntlet alive and attempting to keep our GPA above water in the process. And we’ve made it this far, at least those of you my age have.

And we’re almost there. And we can do this. But just know that, should you ever need to rant about the nightmare that is physics or organic chemistry or biostatistics, I am here for you. Nobody understands better than a should-be English major trapped in the body of a pre-medical major the pain of trying to get through all of these required classes alive.

So I have faith that you can do it. Because, hey, if I can do it, so can you. And one day maybe I’ll be treating your dog or cat (hopefully dog) after you’ve given me a physical or fit my kid for braces. We’ve got this. I think. So, for now, just watch The Office when the stress becomes too much to bear, and think about what a kick-ass doctor or vet or dentist or orthodontist you’re going to be.

Because you will be. You’re going to kill it.