Shots (or not): The validity of sober fun in college

I like tequila. And I am 21 years old and legal and therefore I am allowed to say that out loud/write it in an online publication with (hopefully) no fear of repercussions or judgment.

I like tequila because it helps me forget about how hideous that physics midterm was and because it is (supposedly) the healthiest type of alcohol and because it comes in the form of frozen strawberry margaritas with tiny umbrellas in them and those are fun.

Needless to say, I enjoy having a drink with my friends when we go out on Saturday nights, because we can laugh and be absurd and just loosen up and enjoy each others’ company (also because it is impossible to fathom the idea of stepping into Shooters completely sober and aware of all of the drunk people around you and the fact that there are 1000 random people smashed up against you and no semblance of personal space).

It is basically assumed that, should you decide to go out on any given night, whether to Devine’s or Shoots or just a random pregame for nothing, there will be alcohol and you will be drinking some form of it and that is how your night will suddenly become fun.

That is, until you wake up the next morning with that horrible red wine hangover and are unable to move out of bed or be productive until noon at the earliest. And, at a school like Duke (or any university really), that is not going to bode well for you in the coming week when you have accomplished close to none of the work you needed to finish on Sunday so as to not be drowning by Wednesday.

So that leaves you with just two options, right? Either go out, get smashed, and suffer the anxiety-inducing consequences, or just don’t go out and have a chill Saturday laundry/movie night and a productive Sunday.

But what if there was a third option?

Now, what I’m about to say is not a novel suggestion. It is an actual thing that I have heard countless people do out of both desire and necessity, but for some reason it is rarely talked about or at least rarely talked about as an acceptable “going out” option.

The other night, my roommate invited me to her sorority’s crush party. However, knowing that I had to wake up early the next day to start studying for a physics midterm and that I would be going out the next night also, I had zero desire to drink that night.

When I talked to my other friend who was also invited, telling her I could drive us because I would be sober, she seemed relieved to hear it. She told me she had the same idea, just wanted to go for a short time to see everyone but had no intention of drinking.

So it was decided, we would be attending a 200+ person party in a bar on a Thursday night, 100% sober.

We got dressed for the theme, got in the car, and headed out. As soon as we pulled in to the gravel lot we could see the intoxicated people stumbling out of ubers and into the bar, and figured we were in for a rough time. Get in, say hi, get out. That was the plan, because you can only handle so many drunk people while so incredibly sober, right?

But when we got inside and started saying hi and talking to people, we realized we were actually having a great time. Yes, most people there were drunk, but that actually made them more talkative and conversational, and we were able to effortlessly talk to them with no fear of being awkward (which I am on a regular basis) or saying the right thing.

It was just casual conversation and it was easy, because they weren’t worried about having a proper conversation and we didn’t have to be either. Later in the bathroom my friend turned to me and said “This is fun, we should go to parties sober more often! Everyone just kind of assumes you’re as drunk as they are so you don’t have to worry!”

I could not have agreed with her more. The thing about sober fun is that it’s actually a real thing. I know, I didn’t believe it either that you could have a good time while everyone around you was blissfully unaware and you were painfully conscious of your surroundings.

But that turned out to be the fun part. Nobody is worried about what they look like to anyone else (because they’re drunk), and because they’re drunk you don’t worry either.

I was so comfortable in that hot, overcrowded bar. I said all the weird, random things that came to my mind (that usually get me the “I’m judging you eyes” in any other circumstance) and I danced like I do when I’m alone in my room (because trust me, you do not want to see that sober).

I had a blast with my drunk friends and my sober friend (singular), and at the end of the night I went to bed feeling zero percent sick and the next morning I woke up feeling zero percent hung-over.

And, hey, I even got some physics done.