No Shave November Should be a National Holiday

In my early teenage years I had high hopes of growing a luscious beard. During those sad times, my body’s ability to grow facial hair was limited. I grew whiskers on my upper lip that could hardly be considered a mustache.

Times have changed. I am now a young man and I have the facial hair to prove it. While there’ve been days when I doubted myself, “No Shave November” has been a period of growth for me both personally, and certainly for my facial hair.

I would like the United States of America to recognize “No Shave November’ as a nationally celebrated holiday. Right now, the most exciting holiday in November is Thanksgiving, which doesn’t even come close to Christmas or New Years.  Clearly, something needs to be done to make November more exciting to stand up to the major end of the year holidays.

We have the opportunity to make the entire month of November a period of celebration and appreciation of masculine facial hair. It would be beautiful to see men around the country coming together, united by the hairy smiles on their faces. In addition, the country would have a newfound appreciation for the benefits of facial hair…

During No Shave November, men all around start to recognize the perks that come with their facial scruff. I have experienced these epiphanies first hand…

Sophistication

To start, I am shocked by how much older I look after having grown a full beard. My peers and professors finally take me seriously! In addition to being a sign of maturity, you can take advantage of your facial hair to change people’s perceptions of you to think you are a dedicated to higher learning.

While I might show up to class without having done the readings, I managed to appear more intelligent and prepared than my peers simply by sitting back, thinking deep intellectual thoughts and caressing my beard.

Help your fellow man

Participating in No Shave November can be a great way to raise money for men’s health. No Shave November participants are encouraged to start fundraising pages in order to raise money for Men’s Health. I would encourage all no-shave November participants to donate the money they have saved from not having to shave their facial hair.

Disclaimer: It’s not easy to be this butch

Despite the benefits of participating in No Shave November, having a beard can really suck. The shittiest part is the itchiness and general uncomfortable feeling of having a bunch of hair on your face. Going an entire month without shaving is no small feat.

In order to be successful, men who are dedicated to the cause should give each other support. Acknowledge other men in passing who are also participating in No Shave November, provide moral support to those struggling with the challenges of not shaving for a month.

At the time of writing this it is November 23 and I want to shave off my beard so badly. It would bring me great pleasure to get this hairy mess off of my face. However, I am a man, and real men do not shave during the month of November.

This has proved to be the ultimate test of my masculinity, and I must past. Not only for myself, but also in solidarity with men all around the world growing hair on their face this month.

Finally, be warned- be sure not to eat anyone out while you are participating in ‘No Shave November!’