Italian Tinder is a mesmerizing gallery of hotties
When in Rome for LSA…
I have spent eight weeks in Rome navigating my way through the murky waters of the Italian LSA, in which I try my hardest to act like a truly engaged and cognizant student of the Italian language and arts while simultaneously trying not to offend anyone by being a classic “Turista Americana.
That effort involves not taking pictures of my gelato in the air, not purchasing a selfie stick in Campo de’ Fiori, pronouncing “grazie” correctly (read: it’s not “grazi”, folks. Olive Garden has indeed deceived you), and limiting my “Omg this is JUST LIKE the Lizzie McGuire Movie” moments to only inward thoughts and not vocal acclamations (Disclaimer: I am indeed failing at this – I believe my classmates are keeping tallies of the amount of times I’ve asked where my Paolo is).
There are a million-plus insightful things I could be telling you right now about the adventures I’ve had here. This article could well be about the lessons I’ve learned from a new cultural perspective, or my journey of self-discovery during my first big experience of independence and discomfort.
This could even be a touching piece on the memories I have made with my lovely Italian host mother, Nica.
Instead, I bring you my definitive list of the types of boys you’ll meet in Italy, via Tinder. Here goes…
The Italian Stallion
I’ll start with the classic dreamboat – the Italian Stallion. Tall, dark, handsome, and always well-dressed, there’s no chance you won’t swipe right.
Romeo, oh Romeo
Tailored tux. Red rose. You know you’ve got a Romeo on your hands. Sono io, Giulietta!
Tattoo Boy
Michelangelo sculptures and Caravaggio portraits aren’t the only works you’ll encounter in the eternal city. You got it ladies – body art. These dudes are all about showing off their ink and edge.
Bearded men
If scruff is your thing, seriously, come to Italy. Just do it already.
(Luigi’s with cool mustaches included, too).
Fedora Boy
Oh, fedora boy. How you take the ugliest hat in the world and somehow make it beautiful.
The Thinker
He knows how to show off his profile and hold a far-off glance, and he is always down for some intellectual conversation over an espresso.
King of the Beach
Tanned, toned, mediterranean water… insieme?!?? Enough said.
Alessandro
And last but definitely not least: Alessandro. Because there can never be enough Alessandro’s.