What’s your grimmest finals story?

Finals week. As always, it creeps up on us quicker every term we spend here.

When I think of finals, I think of the time Freshman Fall I fell asleep on the floor of Jones Media Center waiting for my Writing 5 final, or the time when I spent a week trying to understand dozens of Physics 1 lectures at 1.5x speed, making up for the weeks I had blown off Sophomore Spring.

Not to mention the long all-nighters in Novack waiting with bloodshot, beady eyes for the free pastries you shamelessly fight for against the other late night inhabitants. Nothing quite says shame like looking into a Novack bathroom mirror and seeing your sunken face with pieces of cinnamon bun icing stuck to the outsides of your mouth.

“What am I doing here?”, you wonder as you take a break from your final paper to look up lucrative careers which don’t require a college degree.

‘19s we don’t want to scare you, but it can get bad. Real bad.

So in preparation for your first Dartmouth finals, we compiled some of the grimmest stories upperclassmen have experience to show you’re not alone.

So if you find yourself questioning your existence on earth these coming days, consider these, and feel at peace.

All the best, everyone!

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Regan, ’17

“This one time, I had a paper due at 8am, which I started at 8pm the night before in 1902.

“When I looked up, 12 hours had passed of me studying in 1902 without me noticing or getting up.”

Anonymous, ’16

“I was really fucked for my finals, so I decided to take some Adderall to help me study.

“I meant to take 15mg, but I accidentally took 45mg.  I didn’t sleep for two days and I just walked around campus twitching.”

Annie, ’17

“Freshman Fall, I actually fell asleep during my first exam ever. I ended up waking up, finished the final, and went back to sleep.

“Last term, I got locked in the library every day of finals. Coincidentally, I’ve also gone through 12 Monsters in one day.”

Corinne, ’17

“One time I was stress-crying while studying for a test I thought was the next day. Part way through my studying, I got an email from my Prof asking me I was if I was showing up for the final.

“The final was going on as I read his email.

“I ran over to the test in the middle of the winter in a t-shirt, not having showered and finished the final. Oh, and sophomore Spring I pulled four all-nighters in a row – three of which weren’t needed.”

Anonymous, ’18

“Nothing has really happened to me, but I remember studying during finals week one time, and I left all my friends to go to bed while they stayed to pull an all-nighter. When I got back to the library, they were still in a group laughing at something.

“I asked what was so funny, and they explained that things had gotten so bad that my one friend had spent a few confused seconds in the bathroom waving their hand in front of the toilet paper rolls expecting it to dispense the paper.”

Tegwyth, ’17

“Last spring, I had a lot of papers during finals week. Like usual, I procrastinated because I’m a chronic procrastinator. On top of it all, I was writing a special book for the Tridelt seniors that was 160 pages long at the same time.

“While I was working on my papers and the book, Microsoft Word crashed three times, which led to me pulling four all-nighters in a week. I had to get an extension on everything. It was horrible.

“Then, last winter I had to stay up 48 hours straight on fourth floor Berry. Freshman year I must have forgotten how to take exams since I chose all paper-based classes.

“I had to take periodic 10 minute cat naps on the upstairs couches and told people to wake me up at every interval. That was the first time I’ve ever had coffee and Monster.”

Angad, 16

“I only had one paper during finals, so I asked my prof whether I could submitted it electronically from home. The prof refused, insisting that the paper had to be handed in as a hard copy.

“To fix this, I decided to go home and get my friend to print it out and hand it off to him, instead.”

“While I was home, I messed up the time difference and realized it was five minutes before the deadline back at Dartmouth. I emailed the paper to my prof and told him that my friend would be over shortly with the hard copy after they printed it off.

“He refused and dropped me an entire letter grade.”

Rachel, ’16

“I think my worst finals experience was when I had to finish a 15-page paper and I decided to drink four diet Monsters to make it through the night.

“It ended up ruining my stomach and I had to keep pausing to go throw up before going back to writing the paper.”