The definitive ranking of Collegetown bars

I have lived in Collegetown for the past two years, which means I have become well acquainted with the local bar scene.

With the recent closing of Dunbar’s and the less recent, but equally tragic, closing of Pixel, it is time to critically analyze the remaining options.

3. Level B

I remember when I was a bright eyed freshman and I was first invited to Fishbowls. I walked in and saw the bright, neon bowls filled with sugar and assorted cheap liquors, illuminated by the flashing lights.

If you didn’t take a picture of your fishbowl, did you even go to fishbowls?

Including tables, cushioned benches, and an actual coat check, Level B is the closest Ithaca gets to a New York City nightclub.

This bar, however, has many drawbacks.

First, aside from fishbowls on Wednesdays, their specials suck. There is nothing to split with my friends. The shot specials are always sugary with an alcohol content I suspect to be around 0.1%.

Second, there is no moderation in the number of people present at any given time. It is either packed to the (low) ceilings or unnervingly empty. Unless you can appreciate solitude in a dark nightclub or getting other people’s sweat on you, Level B will make you uncomfortable.

Third, the DJ never takes requests. No fun.

2. Loco

C’mon, who doesn’t love margaritas?

Loco was the first bar I ever got into.

With reasonably good deals on drinks and half off margarita pitchers on Thursdays, Loco is, and always has been, one of the most affordable bars in Collegetown. Their happy hours are usually pretty empty, so you and your friends are nearly guaranteed seats and a good time for cheap. Having absorbed many of Dunbar’s old traditions, such as darts, the jukebox, and Group Therapy, Loco seems to be on the upswing.

However, there are still some problems.

There is only one bathroom and it is tiny. And usually really gross.

It is at the bottom of the treacherous Williams Street. As a NARP, that hill knocks the wind out of me and absolutely prohibits heels.

It takes forever to order drinks. Of course, this isn’t the bartender’s fault, but Loco’s enormous bar space means that you are fighting a huge crowd for the bartender’s attention. It is almost necessary to order drinks in bulk or get a pitcher.

1. Rulloff’s

Honestly, I’ve never been there and it still seems like a better option than the other two.